1. Know the k-pop. Be the k-pop.
2. Girls love boys that can start trash can fires.
3. EVERYBODY LOVES POTATOES.
4. Use your warm-bloodedness as a selling point.
5. Compliment cute tummies.
6. Always check your star charts before a date.
7. Make rational lists before choosing a partner.
8. Always have the safe sex discussion.
9. Vestigial organs are the secret to seduction.
10. There is no room for humor in romance.
11. Or at the very least there’s no room for Spongebob.
12. Set extremely high standards.
13. Aspire to be more like cannibals.
14. All you need is love. Definitely not money. Fill your wallet with something useful like spaghetti instead.
15. Clear communication is key.
16. Or maybe it’s kindness is key.
17. The meaning of love is pizza. The meaning of pizza is love.
18. THE LOUDER THE VOLUME OF YOUR VOICE, THE MORE LIKELY YOU ARE TO ATTRACT A PROSPECTIVE SUITOR.
19. And finally, when in doubt, poll tumblr.