19 Totally Inappropriate ‘Sexy’ Costumes That Have No Right To Exist

Every year, Halloween costume companies try to push the limits of what is considered “sexy.” From children’s characters to memes to politicians, it seems like everything in the world is just a set of heels away from showing up on a girl at a sorority party. is the world leader in sexy costuming, and while we all love sexy cops or angels, there are a few costumes out there that miiiiight not be appropriate.

Sexy Barney

sexy costume barney

This would be a lot sexier if it didn’t look like a tiny decapitated Barney was chewing his way through this woman’s head.

Sexy Minion

sexy costume Minion

There aren’t enough boobs in the world to make me see a Minion and feel anything but rage.

Sexy Corn

sexy costume Sexy Corn

Have some pride. If you’re paying $60 for a Halloween costume, at least go as the main course.

Bert & Ernie

sexy costume Bert & Ernie

Short shorts: Sexy.

Bare midriff: Hot damn.

Puppet faces cut in half and worn as a hat: OH GOD, WHY?

Cleavage: Yeah, baby.

Sexy Nemo

sexy costume Nemo

“Nemo was a child with a disability, a fish, and a computer-generated cartoon. Let’s find a way to make that bangable.”

Sexy Pizza Rat

sexy costume pizza rat meme

I like memes as much as the next guy, but maybe a filthy sewer rat trying to get home with some garbage pizza isn’t the best bet for a sexy look.

Big Bird

sexy costume big bird

“Hey, Bill, we want this sexy costume to really capture the essence of this beloved puppet bird. How do you think we should handle his iconic feet?”
“Just stick some gross bags on top of the heels. Like two raw chicken cutlets just stapled to her ankles or something. “
“Real sexy, Bill. That’s why you’re the boss.”

Sexy Chinese Take Out Container

sexy costume Sexy Chinese Take Out Container

When you want to dress like a greasy cardboard food container, but at the same time be vaguely racist.

Sexy Dorothy

sexy costume Sexy Dorothy

Besides the fact that Dorothy is supposed to be 12 years old, I don’t remember the part in The Wizard of Oz where she wears a bikini made out of grandma’s tablecloth.

Sexy Olaf

sexy costume Sexy Olaf frozen

“Do you want to build a boner?”

Sexy Grapes

sexy costume grapes

Grapes haven’t been this sexy since Steinbeck.

Sexy Hamburger

sexy costume Hamburger

You’re 85 percent just dressing up like bread.

Sexy Jolly Rancher

sexy costume jolly rancher

I hate to break it to you, but Jolly Ranchers are the least sexual hard candy. Even a Werther’s Original has some curves to it, you know? A rectangular chunk of corn syrup doesn’t become sexy just because you turned it into a tube dress.

Sexy Kermit the Frog

sexy costume Kermit the Frog

This looks less like a frog costume, and more like a model skinned Kermit and is wearing his face and body, Silence of the Lambs-style, to a rave.

Sexy Sea Turtle

sexy costume Sexy Sea Turtle

Real sea turtles look like an angry lizard had sex with a leather couch. No thanks.

Sexy Watermelon

sexy costume Sexy Watermelon

This looks like a novelty beach towel with a hole in it, but sure, dress up like a sexy fruit. Go for it.

Sexy SpongeBob SquarePants

sexy costume SpongeBob SquarePants

Is that a skirt? Pants are in his damn name, you heathens.

Sexy Donald Trump

sexy costume donald trump

A skanky version of “The Donald” wearing booty shorts and complaining about immigrants might be America’s greatest nightmare.

Sexy Baby

sexy costume baby

No. NO.


19 Totally Inappropriate ‘Sexy’ Costumes That Have No Right To Exist


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