Every year, Halloween costume companies try to push the limits of what is considered “sexy.” From children’s characters to memes to politicians, it seems like everything in the world is just a set of heels away from showing up on a girl at a sorority party. Yandy.com is the world leader in sexy costuming, and while we all love sexy cops or angels, there are a few costumes out there that miiiiight not be appropriate.
This would be a lot sexier if it didn’t look like a tiny decapitated Barney was chewing his way through this woman’s head.
There aren’t enough boobs in the world to make me see a Minion and feel anything but rage.
Have some pride. If you’re paying $60 for a Halloween costume, at least go as the main course.
Bert & Ernie
Short shorts: Sexy.
Bare midriff: Hot damn.
Puppet faces cut in half and worn as a hat: OH GOD, WHY?
Cleavage: Yeah, baby.
“Nemo was a child with a disability, a fish, and a computer-generated cartoon. Let’s find a way to make that bangable.”
Sexy Pizza Rat
I like memes as much as the next guy, but maybe a filthy sewer rat trying to get home with some garbage pizza isn’t the best bet for a sexy look.
“Hey, Bill, we want this sexy costume to really capture the essence of this beloved puppet bird. How do you think we should handle his iconic feet?”
“Just stick some gross bags on top of the heels. Like two raw chicken cutlets just stapled to her ankles or something. “
“Real sexy, Bill. That’s why you’re the boss.”
Sexy Chinese Take Out Container
When you want to dress like a greasy cardboard food container, but at the same time be vaguely racist.
Besides the fact that Dorothy is supposed to be 12 years old, I don’t remember the part in The Wizard of Oz where she wears a bikini made out of grandma’s tablecloth.
“Do you want to build a boner?”
Grapes haven’t been this sexy since Steinbeck.
You’re 85 percent just dressing up like bread.
Sexy Jolly Rancher
I hate to break it to you, but Jolly Ranchers are the least sexual hard candy. Even a Werther’s Original has some curves to it, you know? A rectangular chunk of corn syrup doesn’t become sexy just because you turned it into a tube dress.
Sexy Kermit the Frog
This looks less like a frog costume, and more like a model skinned Kermit and is wearing his face and body, Silence of the Lambs-style, to a rave.
Sexy Sea Turtle
Real sea turtles look like an angry lizard had sex with a leather couch. No thanks.
This looks like a novelty beach towel with a hole in it, but sure, dress up like a sexy fruit. Go for it.
Sexy SpongeBob SquarePants
Is that a skirt? Pants are in his damn name, you heathens.
Sexy Donald Trump
A skanky version of “The Donald” wearing booty shorts and complaining about immigrants might be America’s greatest nightmare.
19 Totally Inappropriate ‘Sexy’ Costumes That Have No Right To Exist