19 Tweets With Wise Relationship Advice
Twitter always likes offering up unsolicited opinions. Here are some on dating and relationships.
DATING HACK: instead of texting back right away, wait three days, then assume he's dead
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 10, 2015
Don't get in a relationship w/someone before knowing what voices they use around babies & pets
— dr. dalia malek داليا عبد الملك ☥𓂀 (@DALIA) May 4, 2015
Long-lasting couple relationships consist of two best friends… who also happen to have sex every so often.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) January 8, 2018
When breaking up with your first boyfriend/girlfriend, it helps to say "you'll always be the answer to my online banking security question."
— Danny Ricker (@dannyricker) September 30, 2011
Dating tip: you don't have to
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 18, 2015
dates 1-4: let me tell u about my extremely normal hobbies and interests
date 5: i don't think the moon is real
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 30, 2016
Dating is one person arguing that they suck and the other party assuring them they don't until one of them gives up
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 20, 2017
Dating Tip: Treat your date to something non-traditional. Go to the park and yell at some birds, maybe dig a cool hole
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 7, 2016
Never talk to someone outside of your relationship about the problems you’re having. Any advice you get would plant doubts into you that shouldn’t never existed. Use that energy to talk your significant other instead.
— Uptown Food God (@aminKnows) January 2, 2018
don't tell someone you care about them if you can't do the bare minimum to prove it. actions speak louder than words.
— Hannah Stanwix (@Hay_ItsHannah) January 8, 2018
Relationships are a lot like sports, at first you're really excited but by the end you've eaten too many hot dogs and are too drunk to argue
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) January 24, 2015
A relationship with no arguments is a relationship with a lot of secrets.
— Relatable Problems (@relatableproblm) February 9, 2015
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) November 14, 2012
Relationships are like health insurance: all your preexisting conditions start coming out AFTER you've been approved
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 24, 2014
Relationships aren’t complicated. Calculus is complicated. Relationships are like if you tried to date calculus.
— Kalvonavirus (@KalvinMacleod) July 25, 2016
Long-term relationships are basically sending messages like this from the grocery store back and forth forever. pic.twitter.com/2vUs6z9p3u
— Cait Mac 👩🏻💻 (@Cmac8) December 22, 2016
DATING TIP: Firmly grasp her. Lean in and tilt your head. Take a big bite. Enjoy the guacamole. Wait this is a burrito.
— Benjamin A. Vorwerk (@bvorwerk) January 12, 2018