Everyone loves a good complement, unless it one of these weird ones.What do you say to these?____________________“You cuss well.”Well fuck, thanks.– u/Feed_Beerus


I have a handlebar mustache which routinely draws compliments, but this was a knock-out.Some old farmer dude with two teeth, wearing ripped up overalls and smelling of bacon walked up to me in a Dollar General in rural Arkansas and said:“Man, you could strap them things on a bike and ride it all the way to Germany!”– u/petertmcqueeny


The hot girl in my class was sitting behind me and was like, “Mmm you smell like my dad…” in a very sultry voice.– u/jonahvsthewhale



“I’ve seen some 8/10 noses, and a couple 9/10 noses, but I’ve never seen a solid 10/10 nose before! You have the nicest nose I’ve ever seen!”-very drunk/high guy who then gave me a fiver cause my nose was a “supermodel.”– u/miaeco


You. Are. Beautiful. I’m a New York cosmetologist, so I know beauty when I see it and you are beautiful.” This was said to me when I was 18 by a woman who came into the store where I worked.What makes it weird is that I ran into this woman again at the mall months later and she said the same thing, pretty much word for word, so I guess she was consistent, at least.– u/shineevee


“Nice eyeballs” from someone passing by while I grabbed lunch.– u/darklux


A girl I dated said I had an ergonomic penis. I’m not sure what that meant exactly, but I’ll take any compliment related to my junk.– u/lets-get-dangerous


Once participated in a Shakespeare competition in high school. Some of the attractive theater club girls were in the room with me and saw me perform. I didn’t think I did all that well, but one of the girls pulled me to the side afterwards and said, “Your acting made me horny.” To this day it probably stands as one of the weirdest compliments (and probably one of the best) I’ve ever received.– u/vanusempty



Went to the doctor for a lung x-ray, he told me I have the “longest lungs” he’d ever seen. I’m 6’5″ so maybe not too surprising, but still I didn’t know how to respond.– u/merz-person



“I bet you can carry, like, 3 dog food bags!” -Some kid.– u/saltnotsugar


Tops Images

A stoner guy named Kevin that used to work at a pizza place I worked at: “Yo, Times_Hunger. I’d high-five you even if you had sauce on your hands, man, ‘cuz you’re cool and not a pirate like Norm.” Norm was the guy who usually ran our fryer. He did sort of look like a slightly larger, short-haired Jack Sparrow.Kevin also drew a comic on the wall (in pencil) of me running over Hitler in my “pizza mobile” and then giving FDR a pizza, which could have been interpreted as a compliment on my patriotism and driving skills.– u/Times_Hunger


Your ass makes a black girl jealous.Told to me by a teammate while we were showering after football practice.– u/Effective Video



“You’re skinnier than you sounded on the phone.” – A Russian friend’s mom.– u/sperglord69420



My boyfriend is very socially (and in a way mentally) challenged due to a few things. A reoccurring theme is his bad habit to state things as matter of fact just as they come to mind, and compliment people badly. About a month into meeting him/talking I heard.. (not word for word on all of them)“You’re very jiggly.” (He was looking at my arms while I was umbrella fighting with a mutual friend)“Your hair smells like funny dots!! It’s nice.”“Woah! You DO have big feet!”“Your eyes are my favorite kind of brown! I’ve never seen it like that before.”“You’re not skinny skinny, and that’s okay. You’re cute.”“Your dark circles make you look sick— but that’s not a bad thing!!! Just don’t be sick.”“You have very chubby cheeks. (He squints and nods) Yeah.. When you smile your face goes round.”He’s a treasure.– u/Nixxillah


“you’re like a sexy lizard”- my husband.– u/babytrocar


Another man complimented my beard “I really enjoy your facial saddle sir” and walked away.
– u/Copenhoss


I was peeing in a stall at work because when I came in there was somebody at the urinals and I’m not a savage. Some random (either a visitor or working at one of the other offices in the building) walked in as the urinal guy walked out.When I started peeing he said “Wow! That’s quite a stream!”I had no idea how to respond. Or even what the fuck just happened.– u/i_only_troll-Idiots


Walking on the sidewalk to a yoga class, yoga tights and all. Heard a car slowing down and the window lowered. Braced myself to hear something gross, only to have a man shout, “YOU CARRY YOURSELF WITH THE POISE OF A CONFIDENT WOMAN. I FIND THAT VERY ATTRACTIVE.” And then he drove off. It was the most bizarre and wonderful catcall of my life.– u/ihaveananecdote4u


“Those are the kind of hands I want on me and in me.”– u/Manimal45

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