No one can make jokes that make people viscerally angry quite like dads. They troll you, make you groan, and tick you off, but that’s why we love ‘em! Shout out to/r/DadJokes for providing these killer dad jokes.
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/u/matti4s: Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor.
Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: Yes, You’ll be fine in a few days.
Dad: Perfect, I’ve always wanted to be able to play an instrument.
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/u/stinatown: “Me: I just found [/r/dadjokes], and it’s great. Now everything you say will be my fodder.
Dad: I’m already your fodder. And over there, [pointing to my mom] that’s your mudder.
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unknown user: Every damn year after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1:
“Where’s your mother, I haven’t seen her ALL YEAR!”
“Man, I’m so hungry, I haven’t eaten ALL YEAR!!”
“WOW, we’ve been watching this TV ALL YEAR!!”
Goddamnit, Dad.
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/u/cvtopher12: How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Leans in close, takes a deep breath and screams at the top of his lungs:
WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
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/u/not_rude_and_ginger: There was a man cleaning a tank [at the aquarium] but all you could see was his hand. My dad leans to me and says “look! It’s a rare hand fish.”
The dad next to us with his two kids said “look everyone! Do you see the hand fish? That one’s my favorite.”
As we walked a way another family walked up and I heard their dad say “here we have the hand fish.”
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/u/TheWetzel: So I’m near our kitchen (but not in it), and my dad is in there by himself. In the middle of the silence I just hear him say “Tupperware? Tupperhere!” And just start giggling to himself. Amazing how they do it even when they’re alone…
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/u/Gatsbyyy: “Leather armor is perfect for sneaking because it’s literally made of hide.”
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/u/Oreosmooshy: I’m laying in bed reading a book when my dad walks in with a tape measure. About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek.
I ask him “What are you doing?”
“I’m measuring your patience.”
20 Amazing/Awful Dad Jokes (And Appropriate Reaction GIFs)
I laughed.. at a moth