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CELEBRITIES DATING SEX

20 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Had Sex

1.

Martha Stewart and Anthony Hopkins

Fun fact: they stopped dating because Martha Stewart was way too creeped out by Hopkins’ performance as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs.

Sex stuff they probably did: she crafted a lovely homemade wicker dildo while he did that creepy Hannibal Lecter thing with his lips.

 

2.

Moby and Natalie Portman

Weird, I never knew the dean from Community was named Moby, nor that he dated Natalie Portman.

Sex stuff they probably did:   A sex move called “The Moby Dick.”

 

3.

Oprah and Roger Ebert

Yep, the two famous Chicagoans briefly dated early in their careers, and Ebert is even credited with advising Oprah to syndicate her show ,which worked out okay I think.

Sex stuff they probably did: I assume thumb-stuff, right?

 

4.

Helen Mirren and Liam Neeson

Famously long-schlonged actor Liam Neeson and famously Hottest Grandma Ever Helen Mirren dated for a while in the 80s, after meeting on the set of the classic King Arthur film Excalibur. Odds are, they had some sex at some point.

Sex stuff they probably did: both probably just had awesome sex all the time, and realized they would both be extremely hot people with great accents well into their 60s. Cuz, I mean, DAMN.

damn

 

5.

Amanda Bynes and Seth MacFarlane

What.

They dated  in 2008 , when she was 22 and he was  STILL SETH MACFARLANE.

Sex stuff they probably did:   I…I cannot even begin to imagine.

6.

The parents in Ferris Buellers Day Off

They (Lyman Ward and Cindy Pickett, if anyone’s interested) met on the set of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and were eventually wed, which is pretty sweet. They went together so well as fake married people that they became REAL married people. And just like any parents who were that oblivious towards the lives of their children and intruders breaking into their homes, they eventually got divorced in real life.

Sex stuff they probably did: some weird stuff with that dummy Ferris left in his bed.

 

7.

Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg

I think all you need to know about this relationship is that – at the roast of Whoopi Goldberg – Ted Danson did the following things (WHILE HE WAS DATING HER, MIND YOU):

  • Donned blackface
  • Repeatedly used the n-word
  • Ate a watermelon on-stage

danson

Seems like a cool guy to date. Oh, and he also described sex with Whoopi by saying it was like ” throwing a hotdog down a hallway .”

Sex stuff they probably did: Something really offensive and degrading I imagine, IF THAT’S THE SHIT TED DANSON WAS DOING IN PUBLIC .

 

8.

Madonna and Tupac

Madonna has a weird list of exes, which include Warren Beatty, Dennis Rodman, Guy Ritchie, and (possibly) Sandra Bernhard. But none is quite as jarring as Tupac Shakur – one of the world’s greatest rappers and definitely in the top 10 holograms of all-time.

Sex stuff they probably did: Plotted out how Tupac would fake his death so that he could go out in a blaze of glory instead of sadly fading away into irrelevancy over time and become a husk of their former greatness, because wow that would be so sad, right Madonna?

 

9.

Michael Keaton and Courteney Cox

I still wish she would have chosen Richard.

Sex stuff they probably did: she made him scream “I’m Batman!” while he made her scream her famous Friends catchphrase “I’m the neurotic one!” Then they swam in a pile of money and celebrated how they would be this famous forever.

 

10.

Lisa Kudrow and Conan OBrien

Speaking of Friends cast members who dated pasty white dudes in the 90s, Lisa Kudrow and Conan O’Brien! They met doing improv in LA , and it was O’Brien who encouraged her to go into acting.

Sex stuff they probably did: just normal stuff, but Andy Richter was watching through a peephole.

11.

Anjelica Huston and Jack Nicholson

Yep, Morticia Addams and Jack Nicholson (who you may remember from such roles as “Clown Jack Nicholson” in Batman, “Boston Jack Nicholson” in The Departed, or “Normal Jack Nicholson” in The Shining) used to date…for, like,  17 years . Wanna know something weird? Famed director-slash-international fugitive Roman Polanski was infamously caught raping an underaged girl…AT JACK NICHOLSON’S HOUSE (he wasn’t there at the time). And you know who caught them? Jack’s then-girlfriend Anjelica Huston.

Sex stuff they probably did:   Jack wore his sungalsses the entire time.

 

12.

Tobey Maguire and Rashida Jones

Note: we couldn’t find any pictures of them together, so this will have to do.

The world’s most perfect person, Rashida Jones ( who is currently writing Toy Story 4??? ), once dated the world’s most boring actor, Tobey Maguire.

Sex stuff they probably did:   She probably did a lot of cool weird sex stuff while he blandly spoke in a monotone voice.

 

13.

Tom Cruise and Cher

Whew, thank goodness Cher got out of THAT relationship before she got sucked into Scientology. If that happened, imagine how weird she would be now. I mean, weirder than this at least.

cher

Sex stuff they probably did: Reached Thetan level 69 together.

 

14.

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson

John Mayer has dated almost every pretty lady you can think of, but for some reason I still wouldn’t have guessed Jessica Simpson. How do you move on from a Backstreet Boy or an N*Sync-er or 2gether-er or whoever Nick Lachey was?

Sex stuff they probably did: Probably did some Wonderland exploration.

 

15.

chris evans and minka kelly

The two most beautiful people in the world found out one another existed, and figured “hey, I guess we should probably have sex, right?”

Sex stuff they probably did:   Just laid down in bed naked together and stared into a mirror.

16.

Owen Wilson and Sheryl Crow

The Butterscotch Stallion and the “Soak Up The Sun” singer used to date/bone together. Sadly, it ended, and they both moved onto much worse choices of Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong.

Sex stuff they probably did: When Owen Wilson ejaculates, you just know he says “Wowwww.” Whatever she did, if it made him happy, it can’t be that wrong.

 

17.

Kathy Griffin and Jack Black

Everyone’s least favorite Joan Rivers replacement and the guy we all used to like in the mid-2000s but quickly got sick of used to bone! Can you imagine how annoying their children would be?

Sex stuff they probably did:   He gave her the Tenacious D on the reg.

 

18.

Anna Friel and David Thewlis

Professor Lupin and Pushing Daisies’ Chuck used to be an item – and we know for a FACT they had sex, because they have a daughter together.

Sex stuff they probably did: Some very proper British boning, I would imagine.

 

19.

John Stamos and Paula Abdul

While MC Skat Kat will always be who we associate Paula Abdul with, she also briefly dated modern Dorian Grey cosplayer, John Stamos (which – for those of you who weren’t assigned the book for school, or watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – is a handsome guy who’s basically immortal, just like Uncle Jesse).

Sex stuff they probably did: Definitely nothing in the attic. No, the attic must be kept locked… (that’s another Dorian Grey reference, sorry)

 

20.

Seth Macfarlane and Amanda Bynes

LIKE FOR REAL. THIS HAPPENED.

HE ALSO DATED DAENERYS FROM GAME OF THRONES.

wtf

DOES SETH MACFARLANE’S DICK SHOOT OUT DIAMONDS OR SOMETHING?

Source

20 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Had Sex

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