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Did you know that Santa’s favorite hobby is casually undressing in front of strangers, pulling a handgun out of his beard, and running it slowly along his inner thigh? It’s true! And weird. If you think that’s weird check out how weird Christmas can get in these bizarre Christmas photos.

Mommy, Santa’s changed since he got back from the pen

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This one actually isn’t that weird… Buon Natale to you too!

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We’ve all been there… (Pooping our pants!)

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All Santa wants for Christmas is another six pack

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Pampers the Christmas Dog protects Christmas for us all

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Santa clearly dotted both those eyes for being naughty

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I can’t tell whether this is racist or not

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This is the first thing you see when you pass through the gates of hell

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Oh America, you are truly crazier than a sh*thouse rat and that’s why we love it.

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And on the fifth night of Christmas my true love gave to me, one baby-headed reindeer… and a nightmare in a fig tree

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Christmas Frogs are real, and they are the scariest thing about Christmas

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Celebrate Christmas with a ritual blood sacrifice

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This holiday season, get you some

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A loving family

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Fair enough

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Good luck figuring out what the hell this is about

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Sure, why not

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This is our last, best weapon against ISIS

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Merry Christmas to ARGHHHH!!!!

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All this Santa wants for Christmas is your SOUL!

 

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