I have terrible news for you: someday you will die. No! NO! Sit down, for f*ck sake! Just relax. I said you will die “someday”, don’t go freaking out. But have you even made the proper arrangements yet? Like created a last will and testament or Spotify playlist for your wake? Or have you picked out your coffin? Well, you should get on that last one quick, because all the good designs are going fast. Here, I can help. Take a look at these awesome coffin designs that will help you stand out when you’re put under:
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This would be the perfect coffin to bury Liz in. Liz was my pet ferret. He loved misdirects.
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I hope that, as they lower this into the grave, a little audio recording of the Mortal Kombat guy saying “Finish Him” plays and then once it is in the ground it plays a different audio recording of him saying “Fatality”.
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Twix Coffins: Need A Moment To Last An Eternity?
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His life didn’t really take off until after his death.
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SMOSH Presents: The One Key To Successfully Being a Coffin.
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You just know this guy’s funeral dirge is gonna be some obscure bullsh*t.
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Ride or die? Nah, bro. Ride AND die.
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“What? Is this not what you meant when you said ‘he sleeps with the fishes’? Oh boy. Yikes. The deposit on this thing alone… You have any idea how much this cost me?”
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Actually he was a RUSH fan, but that one cost 30 bucks more and it’s like whatever, not like he’s gonna know.
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Spoilers for Finding Dory.
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There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she didn’t know what to do. So she killed her eldest son. The funeral was very sad. He was buried in a dress shoe which was kinda like “Yeah okay haha, that’s the joke here”. But honestly, it was huge a tragedy. The old lady is in prison now and all those kids are in foster care. It’s really a f*cked up story.
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Even after I die, I’m on my way to steal your girl.
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This is a great way to scare off grave robbers. Even though you know there probably isn’t a tiger in that box, are you really gonna risk it? And I know what you’re saying: “It’s a coffin. Even if there was a tiger in it, the tiger is dead now.” And I have two words for you: Ghost. Tiger.
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Live a really normal nondescript life. Get a job as an accountant. Get married and have two kids. Buy a house in the suburbs. Vacation in Scottsdale every other year. Have a rotating game night with some other couples that you don’t really like but they seem like nice enough people so it doesn’t matter. Then, out of nowhere, throw everyone a curve ball by choosing this coffin and requesting a traditional viking burial.
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“F*ck your inheritance b*tches! Money over everything. Including my dead body.”
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Life is a race. And this guy won. (Or lost. Depends on how you look at it.)
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Who lives in a pineapple six feet under the ground! *sobbing* SpongeBob SquarePants…
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*Joke about having an undeveloped roll in this world or something or whatever … I dunno.*
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It was grandma’s last wish to have the face of the thing that killed her engraved on the outside of her coffin.
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Bury. Me. In. This.
20 Ridiculous Coffins to Be Buried In
Gamer coffin has windows, will only show blue screen of death