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The photo site  Shutterstock.com   has an INCREDIBLE selection of photos. Some of them are cool & useful, while many others are inexplicable & hilarious. Here are 20 stock photos of “Sex” that fall squarely into that latter category:

1.

nurse not sexy

This nurse-chef is clearly too shocked by this man’s downwards diagonal penis to measure anywhere near it.

2.

unsexy stock photos

A young Tim Heidecker gives Standing Butt Lady a round of applause.

3.

sex pants

SEXTING (verb): Typing the word ‘SEX’ real big on your phone and jamming it down your pants.

4.

wtf stock photo

This is how I picture literally all sex on continental Europe.

5.

hard hat sexy

Remember to practice Safe Sex by wearing hardhats! And leaving all your clothes on. Frankly, that approach is 100% effective even without the hardhats.

6.

sex doll wtf

You better believe Generic Stephen Merchant Halloween Costume Man knows how to foreplay his ladies up RIGHT.

7.

sex education wtf stock photo

Really disappointing turnout for this lady’s Sex 101 course, but at least the lone patron is inquisitive.

8.

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This is every freshman Art Major’s first ‘provocative piece.’ If people tell you it’s lame, it’s because they can’t handle the SCATHING MESSAGE.

9.

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Nothing like some Teddy Bear on Teddy Bear action to create love out of the recipient’s ear!

10.

not sexy stock photo

Scene from the highly unpopular Cast Away porn parody, “Blast Away.” Not the pinnacle of John Mayer’s career.

11.

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I always suspected this was the exact expression you ladies make while we’re down there.

12.

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One question: Where is this guy’s dick? Otherwise everything about this makes sense.

13.

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A snapshot from a niche “Menage-a-Trois Playing-Fort Porn” site.

14.

towel unsexy stock photo

“NIIIIICE TOWELLLL, Bath Man!”

15.

santa claus unsexy wtf

Ahhh, my Honeymoon night. So many memories.

16.

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This is a friggin’ sexual Escher Drawing. Just try to figure out whose body parts are on what and why.

17.

wtf stock photo

Nothing weird here. Moving along…

18.

weird blowjob face

  Nothing like some gooooood “through the boxers” fellatio to make a dude’s pupils vanish!

19.

not sexy stock photos target

This guy’s either trying to imply that this lady’s upper-left quad is the BULLSEYE, or trying to hypnotize her butt through old timey cartoon methods.

20.

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Some SERIOUS S&M going on here, where the M clearly stands for “Meh, let’s not do this.”

  (All pics via  Shutterstock )

20 “Sexy” Stock Photos That Clearly Don’t Understand Sex

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