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By 2050 We’ll Bang More Robots Than Other Humans, Study Claims

By 2050 we’ll bang more robots than other humans, study claims


The British tabloids are ablaze with a study conducted by futurologist Dr. Ian Pearson that claims robot sex will totally normal in 10 years, and by 2050, more popular than sex with other humans.

The report was commissioned by British sex toy online retailer Bondara, who sells items such as the Double Vibrating Strap On, Buzzing Black Beauty Silicone Nipple Cups, and the 10 Speed Vibrating Silicone Clit Tickler, which looks an awful lot like an electric toothbrush.


A future similar to the film “Her,” with our loved ones ditching us for shiny new operating systems voiced by Scarlett Johansson, is indeed terrifying. Like, I feel confident in the bedroom, but I’m pretty sure a sex robot modeled after Johansson could out-fuck me.

Media coverage of the British study is calling this looming possibility “robophilia,” or falling in love with a robot. Except…hold on a minute. By definition, a robot is pretty much just a mechanical device. If you’ve ever gotten off by a high-tech vibrator, fake vagina, or an electric toothbrush, you’ve pretty much banged a robot. All this report is really saying is that by 2050 our sex toys are going to be really, really, awesome. By 2050 we’re just going to be having sex with ourselves more than we have sex with other people, which any lonely teenage boy will tell you is already the case. Humans will never stop wanting love from other humans – we’re far to masochistic for that.



2 replies on “By 2050 We’ll Bang More Robots Than Other Humans, Study Claims”

Why, when former Soviet countries sell us their daughters so cheaply?

I dunno…no neurotic behavior, no insecurity, no narcissistic issues to deal with, lots more free time, no entanglements, no children, no demands…what’s not to like?

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