JUMP TO COMMENTS
Previous
Next

The 21 Most Famous Celebrity Sex Tapes

A no-bullshit guide to the most famous celebrity sex tapes of all time.

Celebrity porn, is a fascinating watch, if you are into that… but waiting for the next ‘leaked’ tape or images can take forever.

So until the next big scandal hits the internet, check out this history of celebrity sex tapes. We break it down for you in the simplest way possible

 

Jayne Kennedy and Leon Isaac Kennedy

Long Story Short: Groundbreaking African-American sports bunny gets a hand from actor and soon-to-be-ex-husband.

The Breakdown: Leon, the star of the boxer-in-prison penitentiary film franchise, supposedly leaked the tape during the pair’s nasty breakup.

The Action: The former NFL Today cohost is a world-class hump, whether she’s grinding her big, beautiful booty on Leon’s cock or massaging his balls while two of his fingers are crammed up her ass. She gives tasty head, too, knocking his cock back like a shot of cheap tequila. Jayne’s up for just about anything — and by tape’s end, just about anything is up her. The tape is notorious for its show stopping fisting scene.

Stop, Look, and Listen: The tape was made in their home with the radio playing in the background, so the soundtrack is killer. Watching them pose naked to Blondie’s “Rapture” is cute, but watching Leon’s handy work during Herman’s Hermits’ “I’m Into Something Good” is hilarious.

Availability: This is why God invented Google.

The Go-Go’s

Photo by Robert Matheu

Long Story Short: High-flying, inebriated pop princesses stir up some shit, only to have it rain down on them years later.

The Breakdown: This one puts the “scandal” in “celebrity sex scandal,” and for good reason. When David, a member of the Go-Go’s’ road crew, is too shitfaced to get hard enough to jerk off in a hotel bathroom, Belinda Carlisle and Kathy Valentine try to get a fan named Elaine to blow him. She says no, so the gang raps about sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll. Basically it’s the new-wave version of the Stones’ Cocksucker Blues, only without the sucking.

The Action: Dave passes out in bed and Valentine tries to wake him up by smearing him with shaving cream, stuffing a vibrator up his ass, and giving him a hot foot. She succeeds.

The Best Line: A bleary-eyed Carlisle slurs, “This is gonna be real interesting to show one day, huh?” The answer to that one would be “Yes!”

Availability: Not hard to find. An edited version of this tape was sold for years, bundled with Rob Lowe’s and Chuck Berry’s sexcapades.

Rob Lowe

Long Story Short: Brat Pack heart throb gets caught with his pants down but keeps his dignity intact.

The Breakdown: The tape you’ve seen on the Internet and TV isn’t the famous footage shot during the 1988 Democratic convention in Atlanta that apparently featured Lowe with two women, one of whom was underage. This more widely circulated video features Lowe with a girl and another guy.

The Action: Though it’s grainy, you can still see that what Lowe lacks in dramatic chops, he makes up for with chops of another kind. He pounds away at his special friend for a good ten minutes at a time before calling time-out for a beer. And between the pixels, it seems like he’s got a pretty impressive package.

Blink and You’ll Miss: Rob Lowe drinks Miller!

Availability: Copies are available bundled with the Go-Go’s and Chuck Berry footage.

Chuck Berry

Long Story Short: Fifties guitar legend gets exposed as urophilic bad boy.

The Breakdown:Berry’s as prolific a pornographer as he is a songwriter, with both careers producing a trail of classics. His nude pics were published in High Society, which he sued, and his private sex tapes were made public. He’s also been suspected of putting videocameras in the women’s room of his Missouri restaurant.

The Action: The sex is pretty run-of-the-mill; it’s Berry’s scatological fascination that makes this one a keeper. When
 he’s not pissing on his girlfriend or having her shake his freshly drained vein, he farts in her face while she blows him.

Now We Get It: He did write “The Wee Wee Hours,” didn’t he?

Availability: In edited form, with the Rob Lowe and Go-Go’s tape.

Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillooly

Long Story Short: Knee-capping ice queen goes for the long green and unwittingly starts a cottage industry.

The Breakdown: Tonya and Jeff tried to revive her failing career by selling off what was hyped as a “honeymoon tape,” and was marketed for sale exclusively by Penthouse magazine.

The Action: Exactly how you’d think fucking a white-trash princess like Harding would be: interesting for a few minutes but for the most part, nothing special.

Oh, Really?: Even though Harding’s wearing a wedding dress in the beginning, it wasn’t her wedding night. It was a Halloween costume. No wonder this is so scary.

Availability: Although it sold thousands in the past, the only way to see this one is if a buddy has the VHS version lying around.

Pamela Anderson and Bret Michaels

Long Story Short: Surprisingly resilient sex queen survives her first potential career-wrecker.

The Breakdown: This was filmed after a 1994 Halloween party and later swiped by a “friend” who saw dollar signs but got nothing but headaches. In 1998, Anderson and Michaels successfully sued to keep the tape under wraps, but by that time everyone and their brother already had a copy.

The Action: Pam strips and then
 plays with her tits for a good ten minutes — and they are a good ten minutes — before Michaels comes in. She gives him a slow, loving blowjob, then mounts him. Michaels eats her pussy then fucks her missionary-style. A second part of the tape is much higher quality but only a few minutes long, and shows her fucking him cowgirl while she flashes her bunghole.

Did You Know?: The metal bad boy likes to cuddle! Aww!

Availability: The Internet

Ted Turner and Jane Fonda

Long Story Short: Media mogul gets cornholed by his commie sympathizer–turned–workout guru wife and gets his ass saved by porn mogul.

The Breakdown: This baby was presumably only given one public screening when a solicitor brought
 it to the offices of Larry Flynt and Hustler magazine, hoping to sell it for around $1 million.

The Action: This one’s so rare that even we haven’t seen it. According to those who have, the tape features CNN founder Ted Turner in a three-way with then-wife Jane Fonda and another woman. Jane and Ted have never commented on it, but there’s good reason to believe the tape does exist. In his porn memoir Prisoner of X, former Hustler editor Allan MacDonell writes about having viewed it with Flynt in his office. Though the Hustler founder and top dog didn’t buy this tape, he purchased a different sex tape and gave it to Turner as a token. Of what, exactly, we couldn’t tell you.

Best Line (Allegedly): Jane’s dildo falls out of Ted’s ass and he barks, “Damn it, Jane. You always do that when I’m ready to come!”

Availability: In your fuckin’ dreams, buddy.

Vince Neil and Janine Lindemulder

Long Story Short: Once-relevant hair-band messiah beds otherwise-Sapphic sex queen, and a nation yawns.

The Breakdown: America’s hunger for rock-star porn is further fed when Internet Entertainment Group acquires this rough-cut gem, which surprisingly has no legal drama attached. We’re sure that Mötley Crüe’s female demographic was dying to check this out, but by tape’s end Neil proves that even though he managed to bag one of the biggest sex symbols in America, he’s no Tommy Lee.

The Action: Call us biased, but the only reason to check this out is because the well Neil dips his nib into is our own Janine Lindemulder, the Penthouse Pet–turned–porn star who was famous for only doing women on film for most of her career. This was her first officially released boy-girl scene, about a decade before her film Maneater. Nestled away in a tropical paradise, Neil, Janine, and a sexy female friend explore some caves. Neil does a little spelunking of his own back at their bungalow, chowing down on the happy hussies before making porno history with the beautiful blonde Janine.

Fun Fact: The sexy friend, whose face was blurred out for contractual reasons, is widely believed to be Penthouse Pet Brandy Ledford.

Availability: Sold in your finder smut emporia under the title Janine & Vince Neil: Hardcore & Uncensored.

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee

Long Story Short: Living blow-up doll and her rock-star hubby share their love with the world.

The Breakdown: The Star Wars of celebrity sex tapes was found in a safe that was stolen from the couple’s home. After a company threatened to sell it online, Pam and Tommy sued for invasion of privacy, and each was awarded at least $740,000. Naturally, a deal was struck to release the vid over-the-counter; the legal version did boffo box office and was named Adult Video News magazine’s top-selling and top-renting release of 1999.

The Action: Sorry, but the banging is b-o-o-o-ring. Sure, Pam gives her well-hung hubby some spirited head, throws him a quickie, and takes a come shot on her tummy, but they’re so in love, it’s like watching your parents fuck. Okay, maybe not your parents, but somebody’s parents.

Did You Know?: Tommy has a big dick, but he comes in less than a minute.

Availability: Any adult-video store will have it, unless they’re sold out.

Gena Lee Nolin and Former Husband Greg Fahlman

Long Story Short: Pam Anderson Lite has her own sex tape, with less spectacular results.

The Payoff: According to press accounts, Nolin’s flack has said she leaked this in 2004 — the same year she divorced Fahlman and started dating hockey player Cale Hulse. It was reportedly being hawked to porn companies for $1 million but was never made legally available.

The Sex: Baywatch fans creamed at the thought of Gena Lee Nolin sans her trademark red swimsuit, but this tape, probably made around 1993, is one ugly affair. Fahlman makes her strip, but she’s hurting from breast surgery so she makes it quick. He keeps barking orders at her, telling her to get on all fours. The schlumpy Fahlman does her doggie-style for a few seconds before she says it hurts too much. Then she gives his dick a quick suck and begs off so they can watch the tape. She clearly isn’t into any of it and bad-mouths him the entire time. Frankly, we’d rather watch Hasselhoff.

Blink and You’ll Miss: Gena gives her panties a quick sniff before tossing them on the floor.

Availability: The proverbial black market.

Eve

Long Story Short: Rhyme-spitting fashion diva gets pronged by literal and figurative jerk-off.

The Breakdown: Yet another music star makes yet another sex tape only to have it leaked, yet again, onto the Internet.

The Action: The former Philly stripper gets pumped with a dildo while her partner jacks off. End of story.

Blink and You’ll Miss: Almost everything, since the online clip is only 20 seconds long.

Availability: Not!

Paris Hilton and Rick Salomon

Long Story Short: Inexplicably fascinating celebutante turns unwitting porn star and finally gets a career.

The Breakdown: For some reason, the Hilton Hotel heiress was banging the well-hung Salomon and trusted him enough to let him tape it. This is the result of their first video escapade. In 2006, the bootleg version became the third most-watched video online, logging a considerable 400 million hits until we, for one, stopped counting. The officially released version, 1 Night in Paris, was AVN’s top-selling and top-renting release of 2005.

The Action: She takes Salomon’s healthy cock with barely a shudder, but not surprisingly, she seems more interested in watching herself on the monitor. The then nineteen-year-old rich girl looks like a refugee from Meerkat Manor in the much-parodied night-vision footage, but the full-color blowjob scene is rock-solid.

Blink and You’ll Miss: Paris almost showing some emotion, but not quite.

Availability: Any good online smut shop.

R. Kelly

Long Story Short: High-rollin’ soulster lets his taste for water sports and young girls (and we mean young) out of the closet, and ultimately manages to stay out of jail.

The Breakdown: Kelly, who married the late R&B star Aaliyah when she was 15, got busted after the Chicago Sun-Times reported the existence of a sex tape featuring, among other charming scenes, him a girl who was allegedly fourteen years old at the time. Kelly was ultimately cleared of child pornography charges because the girl couldn’t be positively identified; his other partner from the video later claimed to believe the girl was 16 at the time.

The Action: Don’t make us do that.

Availability: Not worth the risk.

Fred Durst and Masha Novoselova

Long Story Short: Rap-metal meathead gets laid, hacked, and ultimately owned.

The Breakdown: Hot on the heels of the Paris Hilton cellphone hack came news that some enterprising techie swiped this baby from Durst’s computer — or Sidekick, depending on which version you hear.

The Action: Durst is such a flatliner in the sack (or just soooo self-absorbed) that at one point he turns the camera away from his dick and onto his own face. Surprisingly, you can tell the difference.

Fun Fact: Fred’s cock isn’t as small as chat-room trolls would have you believe.

Availability: You don’t really wanna go there, do you?

Gene Simmons and Traci Anna Koval

Long Story Short: You wanted the best and you got… grainy, B&W nanny-cam footage of Kiss founder Gene Simmons banging adult model Traci Anna Koval in a hotel room.

The Breakdown: Filmed without his knowledge in 2003, Simmons bought the footage (and its copyright) shortly after it was recorded. In 2008, a site called GenesSecret.com (don’t waste your time, it’s down) offered a one-minute teaser from the eight-minute original with the promise of more to come with a paid membership; to his credit, Simmons successfully had the site shut down. Interestingly enough, the site launched mere weeks before the third season premier episode of Gene Simmons Family Jewels, which was set to reveal the results of the previous season’s cliffhanger lie detector test determining whether The Demon had actually slept with 4,800 women. Who woulda thunk it?

The Action: Not surprisingly, the world’s biggest sexual narcissist comes off as just that. He doesn’t use his trademark tongue on Traci at all, he just drops his pants, leaves his T-shirt on (thank god), slithers into a rubber (thank god), then mounts Traci missionary before some cowgirl and doggie-style. At one point he practically head butts her when they’re changing positions, which they seem to discuss like Gene’s negotiating a licensing deal.

Please, God, Make It Stop: Like the Jayne Kennedy tape, the best thing here is the radio playing in the background. The pair fuck to the almost-too-good-to-be-true soundtrack of “I Wanna Know What Love Is” by Foreigner and the Steve Perry hit “Oh Sherrie (Hold On),” which is pretty funny when he’s hitting her doggie-style.

Availability: The entire clip is available online if you know where to look.

Joanie “Chyna” Laurer and Wrestler Sean “X-Pac” Waltman

Long Story Short: Grappling ginch and insignificant other jump on the celeb-porn gravy train.

The Breakdown: Whether this was “stolen,” “leaked,” or intentionally marketed, the former WWE starlet was really just continuing the career trajectory started by her 2000 spread in Playboy.

The Action: Better than you’d think. Joanie’s surprisingly hot in faux dominatrix gear, but she’s a surprisingly docile and compliant sex puppet. She sucks cock like a pro and, in the tape’s best scene, takes it up the ass like she’s maybe done it once or twice before. AVN’s top-selling release of 2006.

Look Away or You’ll See: The forest of acne peppering Joanie’s otherwise accommodating glutes.

Availability: Most online porn retailers.

Jenna Lewis and Travis Wolfe

Long Story Short: Survivor also-ran trumps Mark Burnett with a sex scandal that was more marketing than mischief.

The Breakdown: Shortly before the live finale
 of Survivor: All-Stars, America learned that one of the players was all tore up over a honeymoon sex tape. When she mentioned that the tape was available on the web, a reporter snooped around and learned that Jenna and her manager allegedly owned the site you could buy it from.

The Action: The appeal of the tape has outlived the marriage, and with good reason: It smokes. Jenna looks like a blast in the sack.

Best Line: After complimenting Wolfe’s genetic makeup for enabling him to fuck so well, Lewis says, “That’s right, I invoked the name of your mother while we’re having sex. Now fuck me harder!”

Availability: A number of download sites.

Colin Farrell and Nicole Narain

Long Story Short: Playboy Playmate beds Irish bad boy for fun and…

The Breakdown: Farrell and Narain made this “strictly private and confidential” 13-minute video in 2003; two years later he sued her, celebrity-sex-tape broker David Hans Schmidt (who committed suicide after trying to extort millions from Tom Cruise), and online smut peddler Internet Commerce Group to prevent its sale. Narain said she didn’t know how it was leaked and agreed to help stop it, but Farrell again accused her of trying to profit from its distribution. Farrell got an injunction and has aggressively pursued anyone trying to make money from the tape ever since.

The Action: Farrell shouldn’t have bothered hiding this. He comes off looking like a total stud, showing off his big cock, buff body, and ability to bag some top-shelf tail. The sexiest part is watching Narain slide Farrell’s cock into her mouth. The funniest part is watching her pull his pubes from her teeth. This beats Alexander by a long shot.

Best Dialogue: Narain: “Do you want to watch some porn?” Farrell: “I fookin’ live on parn!”

Availability: The Internet, kids, if you’re lucky.

Dustin “Screech” Diamond

Long Story Short: Former teen star revives failing career and performs an urban-legendary sex act.

The Breakdown: The real screech here isn’t Diamond’s character from Saved by the Bell, but the floundering actor’s gross attempt to get some attention. You’re invited to watch as Double D sexes up two chicks in a real-life round of hide the salami. Diamond told MSNBC talk-show host Joe Scarborough that he and some unnamed B-list Hollywood buds play a game called “poke ’em,” where they wager on who can commit the most outrageous sex act on film.

Blink and You’ll Miss: The last shred of dignity Diamond might have had after he hawked T-shirts to save his house from foreclosure.

What the Fuck: Diamond gives one gal the legendary “Dirty Sanchez,” a high degree-of-difficulty bedroom maneuver that involves poking his finger up her ass so he can leave a thin fecal mustache on her upper lip upon withdrawal. You may be amused, but she was not.

Availability: Most adult online video stores.

Kim Kardashian and Ray J

Long Story Short: Second-wave celebutard does a Paris Hilton and, for better or worse, a family dynasty is born.

The Breakdown: Vivid Entertainment made headlines with their tale of a leaked tape, which they then bought for a hefty sum and — after all the legal paperwork, including checks, had been signed — released Kim Kardashian, superstar to the world. What was originally a roughly five-minute clip is given the Pam and Tommy Lee treatment with the addition of some vacation and holiday footage to bulk up the running time — and the repetition of actual sex action to pad things out further, with the moaning and groaning dubbed in along the way.

The Action: Above and beyond Ray J.’s annoying habit of facing the camera to let… someone know how in control he is, the sex is pretty standard. If nothing else, the world finds out that Kim has a fabulous ass when she’s getting the prone bone, and Ray J. isn’t too shabby in the big black cock department.

You Ain’t Gonna See: The pair indulge in a little water sports, because that shit was cut out.

Availability: You can find the video all over the Internet, for sale or for free. Let your conscience be your guide.

Jimi Hendrix

Long Story Short: Vivid Entertainment’s zeal to corner the celebrity porn market reaches an embarrassing low with Jimi Hendrix: The Sex Tape, an obvious repackaging of an anonymous 70s stag film as the holy grail of celebrity sex tapes.

The Breakdown: A well-hung black dude who isn’t Jimi Hendrix bangs two chicks who never got closer to the guitar god than their turntable, while modern-day interviews with Pamela Des Barres and Cynthia Plaster Caster, two groupie goddesses who also never played with Jimi’s Wild Thing, give this piece of crap the socially redeeming, quasi-documentary something it needed to justify its existence.

The Action: There is none, because it ain’t Jimi Hendrix.

Blink and You’ll Miss: Jimi Hendrix fucking two groupies, ’cuz that ain’t what you’ll be seeing here.

Availability: Save your money. This thing’s a hoax.

JUMP TO COMMENTS
Previous
Next
Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors