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ADULT BEHAVIOR WTF

22 Objects People Have Actually Lost In Their Ass

So deep up their butt they couldn’t take it out. Just like these images and your MIND.

1. A body spray canister:

A body spray canister:

Ahmed: Do you think he was trying to make his farts less stinky.
Erin: I wish, Ahmed. I wish.

2. A house key:

A house key:

Erin: The key to his heart is really in his butt.
Ahmed: Listen. As someone who regularly forgets their key at home, this speaks to me.

3. A beer bottle:

A beer bottle:

Ahmed: I just want to know if this was a closed or open bottle and also why.
Erin: I am ashamed to admit I know what brand beer this is based on the shape of the bottle and now I can never buy it again.

4. A flashlight:

A flashlight:

Ahmed: Ha ha ha was this guy trying to be a firefly for Halloween or something ha ha ha
Erin: It’s like a reverse Fleshlight.

5. A peanut butter jar:

A peanut butter jar:

Erin: Ha, peanut BUTTer.
Ahmed: WHY WOULD YOU WASTE PB LIKE THAT

6. A teeny-tiny toy car:

A teeny-tiny toy car:

Erin: He took “park it in the rear” too literally.
Ahmed: Vroom vroom.

7. A billiard ball:

A billiard ball:

Ahmed: Looks like the cue ball.
Erin: Well, now it’s the butt ball.

8. A dumb phone:

A dumb phone:

Ahmed: Again. Why.
Erin: The butt dial to end all butt dials.

9. A pint glass.

A pint glass.

Ahmed: That’s one way to do your dishes, I guess.
Erin: How many of those did he drink before he was like, “I’ve got an idea.”

10. A gun

A gun

Erin: In some states it’s legal to carry a concealed weapon. They never specify how you have to conceal it.
Ahmed: This looks fake, but OK.

11. Spray paint

Ahmed: So ’90s.
Erin: Whatever color that spray paint was, it’s brown now.

12. A live shell.

A live shell.

Erin: I also like to live dangerously.
Ahmed: Nothing about this makes sense to me.

13. Another bottle, but with a fake hip:

Another bottle, but with a fake hip:

Ahmed: I WISH THE PHOTO WAS FAKE TOO.
Erin: That’s not how you drink that.

14. A bottle with a retrieval wire.

Ahmed: Ah, the best-laid plans of ass and men.
Erin: Never leave a fallen soldier behind, I guess.

15. A lightbulb.

A lightbulb.

Ahmed: I can’t even look at this.
Erin: “Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.” —Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs

16. A tiny, but not too tiny knife.

A tiny, but not too tiny knife.

Ahmed: …I truly feel nauseous.
Erin: I bet that…cuts like a knife.

17. A Coffee Mate creamer lid

A Coffee Mate creamer lid

Ahmed: Just the lid, though. Can’t taint the creamer.
Erin: Lol, “taint.”

18. A dildo.

A dildo.

Erin: Fair enough.
Ahmed: Aight.

19. A. Dildo.

A. Dildo.

Erin: Honestly, these these are the least concerning.
Ahmed: So much variety!

20. A dildo and tongs.

Vibrator and tongs

Erin: Toss that salad, I guess.
Ahmed: This is fire. Give this dude an award.

21. A whole shampoo bottle.

A whole shampoo bottle.

Erin: “Whoops, I slipped a fell in the shower and landed on the shampoo bottle and now it’s in my butt.”
Ahmed “How else am I gonna cure my chronic butt dandruff?”

22. Aaaaaand a Buzz Lightyear action figure.

Aaaaaand a Buzz Lightyear action figure.

Ahmed: To infinity….
Erin: And butt-ond.

22 Objects People Have Actually Lost In Their Ass

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Do not search for the One Man One Cup video. You have been warned.

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