24 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Each week I put my potential drinking problem to work for the fine fans of Pleated Jeans, polishing off an entire bottle of wine while scouring Twitter for some dank Tweets. Here is what was funny, at least at the time.
shout out to this hustler who tried to sell merch at the crucifixion pic.twitter.com/JmxwZOTp0j
— Colley (@JamColley) December 4, 2017
I had that dream again pic.twitter.com/IFIzyFEJtK
— Skot Armstrong (@SkotArmstrong) January 18, 2018
Fuck this app pic.twitter.com/kJJWaf8oV0
— Biniam Bizuneh (@biniambiz) January 13, 2018
*extremely debonair voice* Folks, pic.twitter.com/mOF0sa1ho8
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) January 19, 2018
this is the best interaction on twitter pic.twitter.com/PahLukYN2H
— adam (@burgerkrang) January 17, 2018
638 people found this helpful pic.twitter.com/06enmLVYME
— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) January 19, 2018
this guy deleted his account. roasted too hard to live, rip. pic.twitter.com/XE4jIjlmfW
— bobby sportswear (@bobby) January 19, 2018
Accommodate the hearing impaired by holding up a sign that says “fuck off” when you are telling a bunch of people to fuck off
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) January 18, 2018
My daughter wrote this today. Gonna submit it to the @NewYorker’s SHOUTS AND MURMURS section. pic.twitter.com/myllaKrF7n
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 17, 2018
good job dude you really stuck it to uhh fifty years ago pic.twitter.com/kZwpsqo7PW
— bobby sportswear (@bobby) January 18, 2018
night pic.twitter.com/4zOYiWX42g
— mike (@Bryzzo_) January 13, 2018
Boss: You're fired
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter where did you get those
— Zilla (@GoodZiIIa) January 17, 2018
Donald Trump is literally all the bad Willy Wonka kids in one person. pic.twitter.com/T14AOL3uen
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) January 12, 2018
We live in a post-parody society where it's impossible to invent anything more ridiculous than reality pic.twitter.com/HPGekRKENz
— Zack Bloom (@zackbloom) January 20, 2018
when you're watching your favorite comedy with friends and you casually check to see if they're laughin pic.twitter.com/zKYgbC0OPH
— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) January 19, 2018
You: tide pods
Me, an intellectual: pic.twitter.com/tDojm6kley
— nina (@NlNACOLADA) January 11, 2018
Scariest dog I’ve ever seen ??? pic.twitter.com/cLuM4FjBxG
— Jamie Underwood (@Jamieunderrwood) January 15, 2018
#Trumps1stYearAtHogwarts pic.twitter.com/aGMZcVLWOH
— wint (@dril) January 19, 2018
Installed an anti-virus thing on my parents computer pic.twitter.com/3hda290Um6
— Andrew Ferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrguson (@Ferrrgle) January 7, 2018
when you google the lyrics of a song and realize you’ve been singing nonsense for 6 months pic.twitter.com/IMMUr9XanE
— zander (@finah) January 9, 2018
If a Transformer died could you just use it’s body as a regular car? Like, respectfully tho.
— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) January 12, 2018
me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier
sperm bank employee: what glass of milk
me: the glass of milk that was sitting on your desk
sperm bank employee: oh my god
me: what
sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk
— Kal (@captainkalvis) January 12, 2018
I have watched this clip of Taraji P. Henson eating a hot wing hundreds of times and it just gets funnier & funnier. pic.twitter.com/rkVsQABJNK
— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) January 19, 2018
People: “You look so unapproachable”
Me: “And yet, here you are”
— Rebecca (@Rebecca_Siobhan) January 9, 2018
If you want to follow this IG thing I do with @primawesome @jakecurrie @DanWilbur @cole_mitchell I'd love that. And I'll kill you if you don't. https://t.co/aPaBdnwFLf pic.twitter.com/QxY4kQrLF6
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) January 20, 2018
