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25 CRIMINALS THAT BELONG IN ASSHOLE JAIL

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1. “One of my flatmates opens their bread like this. I don’t feel safe anymore.”

2. “Uh, why is my sister’s degree underneath the car seat?”

3. “My wife systematically removed all cookie dough out of this chocolate chip cookie dough container…is divorce next?”

4. “Boss didn’t like the color of the chairs in the break room. So now we just don’t have chairs.”

5. “How my girlfriend doesn’t zip the resealable bag closed and puts the bag in upside down”

6. “This person who parked his car in between 2 gas pumps at a busy gas station while he went inside the convenience store”

7. This mouse

8. “The way my girlfriend just plugged her laptop in”

9. When you ask someone 2 questions and they reply with a plain and simple, “yes”

10. People, why do you do this?!

11. People that do this!! Why?

12. “5-hour flight…thanks.”

13. Someone made a nest in the bathroom.

14. “My fiancé has been doing this ever since I’ve known him, even though I assure him it takes the same amount of time to put it in the correct case.”

15. That’s right, obviously mismatched socks and flip-flops

16. Isn’t parking like this illegal?

17. “How my daughter leaves her toothbrush when she’s finished”

18. The air pockets on my friend’s phone

19. People who don’t wipe their feet

20. “How my wife opens cereal”

21. “Not only did my husband just place a new roll over the old one, he turned it the wrong way!”

22. My neighbors are good at parking.

23. The way this laptop is placed

24. Every time in any shoe store

25. “Doctor appointment at 8:20 am, currently 10:00 am, and still no sign of even a nurse.”

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