After three years of living in the US, I’ve heard plenty about Americans’ loooove of Harry Potter and my sexy accent. But certain asinine questions and themes frequently crop up in our transatlantic exchanges. In order to educate you on all things Blighty, and to get you to stop asking me what the Queen does, I’ve compiled this list of all the dumb stuff Brits hear when they leave the UK.
Here’s a field guide to everything you need to avoid saying to any of your British mates.
1. “Is that a British accent?”
Why yes, it IS a British accent. Well done on successfully identifying it. Now what to do about it?
2. “G’Day, mate!”
This is Australian. Take this, “bloke,” and any other slang term of uncertain origin and tuck them safely away in your otherwise-empty head.
3. “Say something British!”
Oh, sure. Let me drop everything and do a song and dance. “Allo guvnor, ‘ow do you do? Can I interest you in some Marmite crisps? Grand, innit?” Because all my friends and family speak like that. You should totally do this too the next time you visit London. Everyone will think you’re hilarious.