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3. Bill Cosby, because he’s already over prison.

 

Bill Cosby’s lawyers have already begun the appeals process, trying to get the serial rapist’s sexual assault conviction overturned because of “a string of trial errors.”

The hired guns are arguing that his three-to-ten years sentence to too harsh because Cosby is 81 years old and blind. That’s extremely ableist of them—old and blind people can be rapists, too.

They’re also arguing that there is no proof that the particular rape (of a possible sixty) happened within the state of Pennsylvania’s statute of limitations.

If Cosby gets out of prison, he just might be appointed to the Supreme Court.


2. The person who spent $1.4 million on a Banksy painting that immediately self-destructed.

 

Mysterious political muralist Banksy out-Banksy’d himself with a painting that immediately self-destructed after it was sold for over a million dollars at a Sotheby’s auction.

 

View this post on Instagram

Going, going, gone…

A post shared by Banksy (@banksy) on

 

Banksy revealed the creative process in a video posted on Instagram. Years ago, the street artist built a shredder into the frame, intending to activate it before all the crusty art collectors and pearl-clutching millionaires if it was ever sold.

 

 

Everyone other than the people at the auction loved the stunt.

“What happened at Sotheby’s is Banksy’s greatest work,” art critic Jonathan Jones wrote in The Guardian. “He has said something that needed to be said: art is being choked to death by money. The market turns imagination into an investment and protest into decor for some oligarch’s house. The only real rebellion left is for works of art to destroy themselves the moment they are sold.”

As your friend from college who just started taking improv classes will tell you, true art is fleeting.

Too bad about your anti money message since this whole event has probably made the painting even more valuable.  So much for that scathing criticism.


1. The cop who got caught selling drugs out of his own cop car.

A Florida police officer was arrested on Friday after Department of Law Enforcement officials said that he used his patrol car to sell drugs near an assisted living facility.

Dwayne Frazier White, 48, was investigated when somebody called the cop on the cop, and one of his coworkers on the force went undercover and bought opioids from him.

White was arrested while on duty and was booked into the Walton County Jail, where he’s presumably sharing a cell with people he arrested.

The most shocking part of this story is that people were dumb enough to buy drugs from a man in uniform. What otherwise reeks of a sting operation could, in fact, be the ultimate disguise.

No actual narc would be a narc, no?

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