30 Jokes Only People Who Hate People Will Truly Appreciate

canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 13, 2018

Me reading your message previews from the pull down bar on my phone and not answering for the next 6 hours pic.twitter.com/F4FghFHPb7

— Jojo??? (@jojo_ambitious1) February 28, 2018

Wow thank you so much for letting me host tonight pic.twitter.com/loJe1mcovS

— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) February 16, 2018

Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

— Probability The Rapper (@random_weighs) November 25, 2017

me: i wish i had friends:-/
someone: hey
me:
me: …..wtf that was weird anyways i wish i had friends

— kristen (@eatinfants) February 6, 2018

When you agreed to go out and the time to go out is getting closer pic.twitter.com/hefLJdoJds

— i smoke big gas nigga fuckisyoutalkingbout deadass (@kevenchy_) October 10, 2017

when someone asks me why i can’t hang out pic.twitter.com/7o7yLsAY1I

— Amber Discko (@amberdiscko) September 7, 2015

me: the world is such a wonderful place bro i just want to travel and go on adventures forever

also me: pic.twitter.com/6kLg4BOL3i

— one of ur hoes (@miliondollameat) February 13, 2017

my parents, at 27: married, with a kid

me, at 27: i prefer ordering pizza Online so i don't have to ever interact with a human person

— Alex Manley (@alex_icon) August 24, 2016

person: u should try to make more friends

me: pic.twitter.com/ksOLY3U8df

— one of ur hoes (@miliondollameat) February 2, 2017

Wyd tonight ?
Wyd Tomorrow ?
Why you not texting back ?
Me : pic.twitter.com/U3bpjJYEgI

— . (@OalikaLovesLyn) January 22, 2017

the fact that i only have 2 friends usually doesn't bother me, but it definitely has some downfalls. you wanna go out, but both of ur friends wanna stay in? well guess what, ur a shit outta luck and staying in now too

— eileen sorenson (@ileenbajo) March 2, 2018

when plans get cancelled and u gotta act sad but on the inside you're celebrating pic.twitter.com/FzGaSR93gt

— FREDDY (@FreddyAmazin) August 22, 2016

“awww the plans canceled? I really wanted to go maybe next time…” pic.twitter.com/0CkdElV4CP

— ??? ???? (@araslanian_) March 4, 2018

"This is a mistake"

-I whisper as I leave my house

— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) March 21, 2014

me looking @ the 0 notifications im receiving cause i've isolated myself & ruined all my relationships with my friends, family, and partners pic.twitter.com/s1wVV8Sh1v

— god's lil friend (@junieboony) March 12, 2017

*takes a deep breath, smiles*
"what a beautiful morning to pretend to read tweets in an effort to avoid any semblance of human interaction"

— Daniel ??‍♂️ Strauss (@danielstrauss) January 13, 2016

Introvert probz pic.twitter.com/vh9D3MyfT9

— gianna (@gee_face) January 11, 2016

Co-Worker: Plans this weekend?
Me: Video games and Reading.
Co-Worker: Wanna do something?
Me: I just told you, I have plans.#introvertlife

— Jes (@AtomicJes) December 26, 2015

Introvert at a party starter pack pic.twitter.com/uA4yFzg2DL

— Chris Heilmann (@codepo8) September 11, 2015

Dinner plans: $20
Movie: $12
Night at the bar: $30
Canceling all the above plans before they ever happen: priceless

— Introvert Life (@IntrovertLiving) August 4, 2015

I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight but that was two hours ago. I was younger then, and full of hope.

— Marly ❄️❄️❄️❄️ (@VerbsRProudest) October 3, 2014

FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend
ME: generic excuse
FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"

— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) February 10, 2016

Please don't answer the phone when I call you. I just want to leave a message and make the next contact your responsibility

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) May 12, 2015