Whenever someone says “methinks,” I picture them in a velvet robe with a glass of Merlot, smirking. Methinks you’re a pretentious bag of tools.
There’s a reason the word “while” exists. Use it.
A favorite of hipsters, “per se” is normally used to sound smart: “I’m not a douche per se, but my porkpie hat would suggest otherwise.”
You never hear this word in casual conversation. People who use it simply want to make a point that they know the definition of a word that you don’t.
People who say “milieu” are typically describing the social setting of a town: “‘Twas a humble village of rubes with a quaint milieu.” They will then explain why they are better than the people in this town while sipping hot chai with their pinky up in the air.
Like “postmodern,” “paradigm” is used to sound smart. It usually has a tinge of fight-the-power attitude, as in “subvert the dominant paradigm, man.”
This is nothing more than business jargon used by the CEO pet to get the company extra-motivated to go that extra mile.
Why use three syllables when you can use two? Many, plenty. Don’t be a pompous turd.
There will be a few French words on this list. This one, meaning face-to-face, is just foreign. It’s like “tête-à-tête,” and just as obnoxious.
People who use “bourgeois” really want to be bourgeoisie.
Just say “people.”
If you aren’t a pastor or clergyman, please refrain. There are hundreds of better words in the sex slang dictionary you can use.
Old English is making a comeback in a big way. Mostly in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Treasure, pleasure, leisure? Nope, doesn’t work.
Just say “without.”
Manhattan trophy wives say “vahz” to sound smart because their rich husband married a dumb, hot chick.
Recent college grads and Russell Brand use this a lot. It makes them seem over it and oh-so-above-it. “Vapid” is a word for vapid people. Shit, I said it, didn’t I?
A pontificator’s favorite, “ergo” means therefore. So go with that instead.
“Isn’t it grandiloquent indeed, darling?” Also, this is why we went with “pretentious.”
Just say “aware.”
Go to any upscale coffee joint in the most gentrified part of town. The people inhabiting it think they’re part of the intelligentsia, and odds are they use every word on this list.
Kawhi Leonard of the San Antonio Spurs is the only one who can, and should, use it.
It would behoove you to never say “behoove” in public. People will think you’re an asshole (and you are).
“Good” will suffice. Otherwise, you’re confusing everyone, both with your outlook and sexuality.
It literally means appropriate. But for some reason, it’s still a ridiculously pompous word.
You find this word a lot on Tumblr. Short for “plebeian,” it means commoner. Usually employed with a haughty air, the word itself implies that the user of it is a holier-than-thou punk.
“You ah quite maudlin, m’lady. Here, take my handkerchief, if you must.”
A French word. Enough said.
The inventor of the fedora gave it an apropros name
THE 30 MOST PRETENTIOUS WORDS IN THE WORLD