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1. When you see someone trip in the street.
2. When you get mad at a baby for crying.
3. When you get mad at a parent because their baby is crying.
4. When your food splatters all over the work microwave and you don’t clean it up.
5. When you’re leaving the house to go grocery shopping and you consider taking your reusable bags, and then you can’t be bothered going to get them.
6. When you know how bad your park was but you don’t care.
7. When you see someone park in a no parking zone and you don’t bother telling them.
8. When you agree to help someone even though you know you’re going to bail because you actually just don’t want to.
9. When you’re supposed to help carry something heavy and you carry only a tiny portion of the weight.
10. When you’re supposed to be someone’s wingman and you don’t save them from the weirdo chatting them up at the bar.
11. When you know someone is about to get bad news and you can’t wait to see how it all plays out.
12. When someone tells you their bad news and you accidentally laugh.
13. When someone says something really stupid in your presence.
14. When you sneeze in the direction of someone you hate.
15. When you regift a present that you hated.
16. When someone tries to tell you how unethical your fave brand is.
17. When you ignore a phone call from your mother.
18. When you eat your housemate’s food and pretend it was someone else.
19. When you don’t bother replacing the empty toilet paper roll and your housemate asks if it was you.
20. When you get more change than you were owed.
21. When you’re sick of listening to your friend’s problems.
22. When you don’t go to someone’s birthday drinks because you don’t want to buy them a present.
23. When you know someone is catching up on a TV show and you purposely tell them spoilers.
24. When you see people trying to raise money for charity and your go-to response is “Fuck. That.”
25. When you’re in the elevator and you see someone running to get in and you press the button to close the door.
26. When you see someone on the street that you don’t like so you pull out your phone and you pretend not to see them.
27. When you say something way harsh and you’re not even sorry.
28. When you put organic bananas through the self check-out as normal bananas.
29. When you cancel on your friend last minute because you just CBF.
30. When you’re like “I’ll get next round!” but you ain’t gonna get the next round.
31. And when you cut in line and then pretend like you didn’t.
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