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5.  The Room

First up we’ve got is perhaps the most well known “so bad that it’s good” film of all time, 2003’s The Room. Tommy Wiseau’s film is often ripped apart scene by scene for its sheer awfulness so it’s no surprise that its sex scenes are horrifyingly bad. Cheesy just doesn’t cut it when it comes to describing the hot and heavy lovemaking scenes in this film. The worst by far has to be the scene or scenes (it’s repeated twice, shot for shot, for god’s sake) where Johnny (played by Wiseau) and his fiancée, Lisa, make tender, skin crawling love on a four-poster bed. Shot through the sheer veil hanging off the bed, the camera sweeps around them as they fornicate amongst a bed full of rose petals — surrounded by candles. Then things really get going and we are treated to the full view of Wiseau’s derriere as he grinds away. The entire scene is just too bizarre to take seriously, but don’t take our word for it — take a look yourself.

4. Color of Night

Next up, has to be the highly forgettable Color of Night. This 1994 erotic thriller is led by Bruce Willis who plays a psychologist that is seduced by a mysterious young woman (Jane March). Now this film is chock full of terribly awkward sex scenes but one in particular stands out. In the midst of an erotic coupling, the two somehow fall into a swimming pool and start the completely un-erotic process of boning under water. The scene became briefly infamous when the film was released for showing full frontal shots of both actors. But what really gets us is the sheer length of the scene coupled with the moment that they start performing oral sex on each other… underwater. Truth be told, that weird jazz score in the background doesn’t help get us in the mood either.

3. Showgirls

The dubious honour of the number 3 spot in our Top 5 of cinema’s most awkward sex scenes has to go the 1995 masterpiece — Showgirls. Whilst widely slammed by critics upon release, the film has gone on to become somewhat of a cult guilty pleasure watch. The acting is cheesy, the story completely over the top and the nudity abundant, what’s not to love? But the scene we’re here to talk about takes place when Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle Machlachlan (from Twin Peaks fame) head to the pool to have some aquatic fun. Berkley straddles McLachlan and begins to flail so wildly that it makes you question whether or not she’s having a seizure or an epileptic episode. This sex is so over the top, that its been referred to as the “dolphin sex scene”. Seriously, just throw some narration over the top and you’ve got an episode of Planet Earth on your hands.

2. Splice

Next up in our Top 5 list of Cinema’s most awkward sex scenes is the 2009 sci-fi horror movie Splice. Adrien Brody plays genetic engineer Clive Nicoli who creates a creature through splicing the genes of various species. The resulting creation is named Dren, and quickly amazes him with her intelligence and physical attributes.  Apart from the fact that the entire scene feels a little too close to bestiality, there’s also the incest angle given that Clive essentially raised Dren from childhood and is essentially her father. So the scene where Clive tracks Dren to a barn and she begins seducing him –makes for a far from sexy scene. Instead it comes across as truly disturbing, weird and bizarre. To make matters worse — their coitus is interrupted when Clive’s partner, Elsa, catches them in the act… yeah awkward.

1. The Specialist

Lastly, to round out our Top 5, we’ve got good old Sly Stallone and the original blonde vixen, Sharon Stone. This regrettable team up in The Specialist happened at the tail end of Sly’s 90’s action career and is an entirely unremarkable flick. In the film he plays a CIA agent turned freelance bomb-maker who falls for a client… played by Sharon Stone. That is literally all that happens in the movie, and trust us there is zero chemistry between the 50-year old Stallone and Stone. The director clearly didn’t agree and when they finally get down to the dirty deed it’s as awkward as you would probably imagine. The scene is brutally long, and for some reason they decide to move their lovemaking into the shower… because you know its better when you’re all nice and pruny right? For some reason the camera lingers for what feels like an eternity on Stallone’s bare ass and overly sculpted muscular back as he gropes and fondles the barely present Stone. According to interviews following the films release, Stone had to get drunk before shooting this sex scene and honestly… wouldn’t you?

 

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5 Cringiest Sex Scenes In Movies

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