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One of the beautiful things about reality shows, especially when they feature our favorite beautiful has-beens, is how rife with conflict they are! It’s almost like someone wrote it beforehand! But come on, then it wouldn’t be reality, would it? Sometimes, one irrelevant millionaire pisses off another so bad that it goes nuclear, and we’re treated to moments that remind us that, yes, we are truly in the Golden Age of Television. Here are five examples of celebrity reality TV appearances that were downright disastrous.

Dustin Diamond vs. Harvey Walden IV – Celebrity Fit Club

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If you’re a fan of Dustin Diamond, then you’re probably an awful person and should turn yourself into the local authorities. The once and future Screech has done everything from spreading nigh-radioactive levels of gossip about his former Saved By The Bell co-stars to literally stabbing someone. One person who is most certainly not a fan, though, is Celebrity Fit Club fitness coach Harvey Walden IV. Diamond was a world-class sh*t-talker on the show, even threatening to fight Walden, who kindly responded, “Don’t you ever f*cking threaten me, b*tch!” with a face that looks like his fitness relies on a steady diet of children’s dreams.

Vivica A. Fox vs. Kenya Moore – Celebrity Apprentice

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Two words: TOXIC. TRICK. On a recent season of Celebrity Apprentice, presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s crown jewel, Vivica A. Fox went all-in with Kenya Moore, and poor Geraldo Rivera was smack in the middle of it. When Fox claimed that Moore had stolen her phone and written an inflammatory tweet with it, she uttered those two glorious words at the top of this paragraph: TOXIC TRICK. I think we can tear up all of the dictionaries and thesauruses in publication — do we really need any other words than these? I’m calling everyone toxic tricks — hell, even my friends. Go forth and spread the good word.

Calum Best vs. Perez Hilton – Celebrity Big Brother UK

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Big Brother is a national treasure here in the good ol’ US of A, but across the pond, the U.K. audience is privy to some straight-up verbal death matches. Take, for instance, this feud between Calum Best and Perez Hilton; Best had been getting progressively more and more peeved by the gossip blogger’s manipulative nature, and things finally came to a head in a profanity-laced tirade where Best lambasted Hilton with choice gems like “f*cking power tripper” and “piece of sh*t”, wrapping the whole thing up neatly by saying that nobody in the entire country likes Hilton. Come on Perez, you can piss off Calum Best, and I wouldn’t be mad. Hell, I’d congratulate you. But an entire country?! I am disappoint.

Gary Busey vs. The Snapple Lady – Celebrity Fit Club

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The insanity of Gary Busey has become the stuff of legend, but on an epic season of Celebrity Fit Club, he went HAM on Wendy Kaufman, AKA The Snapple Lady. Now, when I say Gay Busey went HAM, I mean it. He went so far as to oink at Kaufman on various occasions. Eventually, though, before any fists were thrown or anyone was kicked off of any teams, the two made peace with each other, showing us that there really is hope for all of us. And as for Gary Busey? Well, he got really into the ‘60s and no one ever saw him again.

Vanilla Ice vs. Ron Jeremy – The Surreal Life

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When you think of reality TV, chances are that two things come to mind — washed-up porn stars and washed-up rap artists from the 1980s. As it turns out, they’re great friends in their natural habitat! That is, until one of them back-stabs the other, as Rob “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle infamously screamed on the very first season of VH1’s The Surreal Life. Jeremy had given his word to Ice that he would not vote his friend off the show, then promptly did just that, not realizing the votes were not anonymous as he had hoped. An enraged Ice would then smash the set to pieces, because if you can’t trust the Hedgehog, who can you trust?

 

 

 

 

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