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5 Haunted Houses That Might Be Unnecessarily Extreme

 

October is finally here, everybody! The 11-month countdown is over, and Spookytime is upon us again. Of course, as the years go on, our tolerance for spookiness continues to grow greater and greater, so the haunted house industry has to follow suit and produce insane experiences to give us waking nightmares until next summer! And so, here are five of the most awesomely, unnecessarily extreme haunts in the world.

 

Fear Factory – Salt Lake City

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Tired of plywood walls, gilly nets and sweaty tarps? Try Fear Factory on for size, a for-real old cement factory in Salt Lake City where the actual street address is 666. You can even zip line over the factory or bungee jump off of a bridge, if you’d REALLY like to tempt fate and ask for God to take your life in a way that will at the very least make headlines.

 

Heretic – Los Angeles

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Most haunted houses these days are 15-20 minutes, with some more theatrical installations taking an hour or two of your time. But how about an intensely aggressive production who, at one point, staged an experience inside a cabin for eight damned hours? Nobody needs that long to plot my demise unless they’re going to be needlessly creative about it.

 

Sleep No More – New York City

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Shakespeare, a hotel from the film noir period of the turn of the century, voyeurism, and some creepy-as-hell Eyes Wide Shut-lookin’ masks. The one sliver of that Venn Diagram that exists is Sleep No More, a haunted house that encompasses FIVE STORIES of New York City real estate. So if the sheer dandy-ish terror doesn’t keep you up at night, the thought of that much exercise will!

 

Marshal Scary Scotty’s – El Cajon

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Are you kidding? Do I even need to elaborate? Look at that picture! That is a very real, tetanus-laden death trap of a roller coaster, populated by a demented clown and a Shining-esque little girl, all in BROAD DAYLIGHT. Clowns always prey on their unsuspecting, coaster-riding victims at night, but THIS guy is ahead of the game.

 

The Beast – Kansas City

MIKE RANSDELL/The Kansas City Star_101508 People stand in line waiting to get a scare outside The Beast Friday night. ORG XMIT: 9P15RA1B ORG XMIT: DH1BLTBO ORG XMIT: AJ1BMC6R
MIKE RANSDELL/The Kansas City Star_101508 People stand in line waiting to get a scare outside The Beast Friday night. ORG XMIT: 9P15RA1B ORG XMIT: DH1BLTBO ORG XMIT: AJ1BMC6R
(source)

The Beast, as it stands, is a fairly run-of-the-mill haunted house, located in the Historic West Bottoms District of Kansas City. That is, until you get to the end, and you’re given a choice of either sliding down a pitch-black, four-story slide, OR heaving your body out of a two-story window. I’m pretty sure any experience ever could be made just a bit more awesome if it ends with “And then I jumped out a window.” Imagine how amazing your breakup stories would be!

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