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5 People Having A Worse Week Than You –

 

5. Lorde, because she was in hot water over Whitney Houston bathtub joke (Whitney Houston died in the bathtub).

 

Singer-songwriter Lorde, the real-life Wednesday Addams, posted an extremely tone-deaf Instagram that may or may not have been intentional. The Kiwi pseudo-goth posted a picture of a bathtub with the caption, “And iiiii will always love you,” a song made famous by Whitney Houston.

 

 

As every Houstonhead knows, Whitney tragically drowned in a bathtub in 2012.

Needless to say, after relaxing in the bath, Lorde ceased to be zen after reading her notifications.

After drying off, Lorde quickly apologized, insisting that she wasn’t thinking about Houston’s tragic accident but rather was super psyched to relax in a hot tub.

 

Lorde once covered Houston while cosplaying as Captain Underpants, so you know that she means well

 

 

Children like Lorde are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.


4. The Fox News host who accidentally broadcasted how untrustworthy he is.

 

This just in: a shocking development. Fox News actually reported something accurate for once, displaying a fact that’s not only against their propagandistic brand but was also at their own expense.

Yesterday morning on Tight Shot, host Howard Kurtz was yik yakking with his guest Frank Luntz about how good the economy is, but how bad Trump’s tweets are, because the latter distracts from the former.

Discussing Trump’s favorite catch phrase “FAKE NEWS!”, Kurtz put up a poll that said that nearly half of all Americans trusted CNN—Trump’s least favorite channel after the History channel—more than they trusted him.

 

 

The graph also showed that according to the Monmouth University poll, Fox News is the least trusted network, which Kurtz caught and said ,” That is not the graphic we are looking for. Hold off. Take that down please.”

Sorry, Fox. To quote a T-shirt often seen at Trump rallies, “Facts don’t care about your feelings.”


3. Mark Zuckerberg, because he’s officially kicked off his apology tour in Washington

Mark Zuckerberg would like you to know that he’s sorry Facebook dot com made your personal information available to third-party apps and therefore open a Pandora’s Box of misinformation and targeted ads that resulted in catastrophic votes around the world.

Tomorrow, the character that earned Jesse Eisenberg an Oscar nomination is testifying before the Senate Commerce and Judiciary committees, and later he will address the House Energy and Commerce Committee, which has already published his prepared remarks.

 

 

 

“It’s clear now that we didn’t do enough to prevent these tools from being used for harm as well,” Zuckerberg plans to tell Congress. “That goes for fake news, foreign interference in elections, and hate speech, as well as developers and data privacy. We didn’t take a broad enough view of our responsibility, and that was a big mistake. It was my mistake, and I’m sorry. I started Facebook, I run it, and I’m responsible for what happens here.”

While that may not be Aaron Sorkin-level writing, Zuckerberg insists that he feels real bad about his business model that rewards controversy over accuracy, and is humbly surprised by how vast his power overseeing the communications and private information of 2.2 billion individuals has become.

C-SPAN is already pitching Zuckerberg vs. Congress as the biggest showdown since Wrestlemania, so get your popcorn ready.

 

It’s going to be more awkward than a Facebook “poke.”


2. The Disney employee who tweeted-and-deleted a really depressing joke.

Someone at Disney’s social media decided to trade their “Happiest Place on Earth!” brand for some emo attempt at humor and it did not go over too well. Sad!

Twitter is filled with enough nihilistic jokes without the House of Mouse trying to relate to the sad, sad millennials

 

And the same can be said about the person who tweeted it.


1. The Trump supporter who showed off her gun and abs, because she got massively trolled.

Meet Brenna Spencer. She’s a senior at University of Tennessee-Chattanooga, and she doesn’t take ~*normal*~ graduation photos, she takes cool graduation photos.

Spencer’s proud pose with a murder weapon went viral, as the internet has found its new Tammy Lasagna.

 https://twitter.com/mendit_wyou/status/982833129659478016

People pointed out some flaws in her special presentation.

 

 

 

 

 

Congratulations to Brenna on her graduation and her inevitable internship at Fox News!

 

 

 

 

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