5 Ridiculous ’70/’80s Movies That Cable TV Needs To Turn Into Serious Shows

5 Ridiculous ’70/’80s Movies That Cable TV Needs To Turn Into Serious Shows

Every corner of the internet is talking about different conspiracy theories about Westworld, but really, all HBO did was take a silly movie about robots gone wrong and killing everyone and turn it into a show about the nature of humanity. We need more cable shows to follow HBO’s lead. The ’70s and ’80s had such ridiculous movies, and they should be dug out and rebooted. Here are a few I think would make great serious dramas for cable television.


Death Race 2000

Death Race 2000 is a movie where racers drive across the country trying to kill both each other and random pedestrians. The gritty reboot would be a race to kill off people as over population has put the planet at risk. But really the only people out walking are the poor, so it’s a deep show about classism. Also there will be boobs.


Animal House

An Animal House drama would look at the deep bonds created by fraternal brotherhood and how far some would go to protect that brotherhood. They’ll be a hazing episode that pushes someone too far, plumbing the dark depths of man’s soul. Also there will be boobs.


Best Little Whore House in Texas

Instead of a fun musical romp about the prostitutes in a cute little brothel in Texas, a Best Little Whore House in Texas show would look into human trafficking and the Stockholm syndrome that many victims develop toward their captors. What looks like a glamorous life filled with sex and drugs is really a gilded cage. There are no choices for these women — they are slaves to their captors. Also there will be boobs.


Logan’s Run

A fun sci-fi romp, the original Logan’s Run kills off people once they turn 30. We’d turn the franchise into a show about women in Hollywood and how their careers are murdered once they turn 30. Every starlet gets a beautiful crystal necklace that turns red when she hits 30 and then she’s never able to work in this town again. These women have surgery and take drugs to fool the crystal, but the crystal knows all, and in this society, old women aren’t useful and should be thrown away. Also there will be boobs.


The Last Starfighter

We could easily turn The Last Starfighter into a gritty space opera. A man stuck in his mother’s basement knows nothing but the love of his computer game. He has no ambition, no friends, and no life. But one day, an alien comes to Earth and tells him he’s their only hope because that video game was a test to find the best Starfighter. We’d then learn about this alien’s world and how it’s being killed by invaders. Our hero then makes these aliens his family and this new world his home. He finds the love of a good alien woman — finally, something worth fighting for. He moves up the ranks from Starfighter to Star General to finally Star President. This has so much potential for multiple seasons there’s no way it doesn’t get syndication. Also there will be alien boobs.


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