JUMP TO COMMENTS
Previous
Next

5 Underwhelming Superhero Fights We THOUGHT We Were Stoked For

I don’t know if you guys have heard, but there are a lot of superhero movies coming out! For the most part, they’ve been pretty damn good, but we know we can’t have nice things forever. Sometimes we wait and wait and wait and wait for our favorite heroes and villains to hit each other with things, and the results are… less than spectacular. Here are five of the most disappointing fight scenes in superhero movies.

5. WOLVERINE VS. DEADPOOL – X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE

(source)

Now infamous among botched comic book films, X-Men Origins: Wolverine took Deadpool, a character literally identified by his having a mouth, and, uh…took away his mouth. The fight choreography itself was fine, but the appeal of a Wolverine vs. Deadpool fight is all the sh*t-talking! But instead, we got a weirdly dead-eyed Deadpool with a weird fleshy patch where his mouth should be, and Sabertooth coming to Wolverine’s aid to fight him. I heard they took another stab at a Deadpool movie a while back. I wonder if it made any money?

4. GREEN LANTERN VS. PARALLAX – GREEN LANTERN

(source)

Speaking of poor Ryan Reynolds, let’s talk a little about 2011’s Green Lantern. As a hero that can create ANYTHING out of green light, the green Lantern is practically custom-built for giant a 3D blockbuster! Hal Jordan taking on Parallax should have been an epic battle to set the table for an inevitable Green Lantern vs. Sinestro fight, but distracting CGI and the gravitational pull of the sun made for a pretty lackluster conclusion to the film. But hey, the set of this movie is where Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively met, so if nothing else, we can thank it for keeping impossibly gorgeous celebrities together.

3. SPIDER-MAN VS. VENOM – SPIDER-MAN 3

(source)

Frankly, we don’t have the time to all of the things that made Spider-Man 3 a big ol’ dumpster fire. Between the dance sequence and the emo haircut (remember when “emo” was a thing?), people barely even noticed the guy from That ‘70s Show growling it up as Venom. In what should have been the screen-melting fight people had been anxiously awaiting for years, we got an overly gritty Topher Grace, a chicken-squawking Venom, a squeaky Tobey Maguire, and the most sonically unpleasant fight scene in recent memory.

2. THE AVENGERS VS. ULTRON – AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

(source)

When the trailer for Age of Ultron dropped, we were pumped! Creepy-ass James Spader reciting “I’ve Got No Strings” as he becomes sentient? Nightmare fuel for days. But what we ended up with was what felt like about 5 trillion heroes (upped to 50 trillion for Infinity War) and a villain that felt… well, like a robot.

1. SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN – BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

(source)

I realize that this take is about as hot as four day old mashed potatoes, but Batman versus Superman should have been the one-on-one hero fight to define a decade’s worth of comic book movies. And considering the fact that “Batman v. Superman” is right there in the title, it takes an eternity for the movie to get to the fight and ends with the supremely anticlimactic, “Our moms have the same name, bro!” Justice League would go on to be marginally better, but that’s like saying four day old mashed potatoes are better than six day old mashed potatoes.

JUMP TO COMMENTS
Previous
Next
Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors