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5 of the Weirdest Alternate Origin Stories For Superheroes

5 of the Weirdest Alternate Origin Stories For Superheroes –

 

 

Judging from the gazillion comic book movies we’ve seen in the last decade, we love us some stories of extraordinary beings rising up and conquering evil. But with comics being what they are, of course there are scores of alternate universes that are… well, a little unconventional. Here are five weird alternate origin stories for superheroes you know and love.

 

Red Son Superman

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“Red Son” is a crazy awesome series about an alternate timeline kicked off when Kal-El’s pod crash lands on a Ukrainian collective rather than a farm in Smallville. The super-powered boy eventually grows up to fight on the side of socialism and wears a suit roughly 5 trillion times cooler than the standard Superman duds.

 

Pilgrim Batman

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2010’s “The Return of Bruce Wayne” mini-series saw Bruce Wayne struck by Darkseid’s Omega Beams, launching him into different time periods. In the six-issue series, we saw caveman Batman, pirate Batman, wild west Batman, and, like,a bunch of other Batmen. But since we’re just coming off Thanksgiving, we have to give credit to pilgrim-ass Bruce Wayne for being the most awesome of the bunch, using his detective skills to save women accused of witchcraft from ultimate burnination.

 

Maestro Hulk

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The short version of this beauty’s backstory is fairly simple: a century into the future, most superhumans have been killed off in the midst of a nuclear war. From all that nuclear radiation came The Maestro, who is basically a combination of both the rage of The Hulk and the genius intellect of Bruce Banner. But really, who gives a crap, BECAUSE HAVE YOU EVER EVEN SEEN A BEARD THAT MAGNIFICENT BEFORE??? That thing should have Medusa-level powers and straight-up turn Maestro’s enemies to stone.

 

Dane of Elysium (Wonder Man)

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Speaking of epic beards, take a gander at Dane of Elysium, a.k.a. Wonder Man. Coming from a timeline/ continuity/ universe/ whatever called Earth 11, where all superhumans were gender-swapped, Dane comes from the all-male Amazon island of Elysium. Basically, he’s the Brawny paper towel man if he cosplayed as Diana Prince for Halloween.

 

Centaur Superman

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“Centaur” and “Superman” are two words that should never, ever go together, but alas, here we are. The mid-’90s were an odd time for many reasons, not the least of which being an Elseworld mini-series titled “Whom Gods Destroy”, which saw Nazi Germany win World War II, Lois Lane turn into a Wonder Woman, and, bafflingly, a forever-young Clark Kent transformed into a centaur by the Greek goddess Circe. Ultimately, it’s revealed that the whole timeline is a literal chess game being played by Zeus and Hera because… ??? Oh, and Centaur Superman and Wonder Woman Lois Lane live on the moon. Why the hell didn’t we get THIS DC movie instead of Suicide Squad?

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