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I bet someone had fried chicken for dinner.

Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds and mars. Oooooh. Love hurts.

So learned 18-year-old Haden Smith, who did not take his recent breakup very well. Smith was willing to fight for his love though, and asked his mother for help.

OK, so he didn’t ask. He threatened to murder her chickens if she didn’t call his beloved’s parents and force them to make their daughter reconcile with him. In classic villain fashion, Smith informed his mom that he would snuff out one chicken every fifteen minutes until until he got what he wanted. To prove he wasn’t bluffing, he sent pictures of the dead birds.

All total, six chickens were sacrificed in the name love.

Oh yeah, Smith also said he’d burn his mom’s house down and kill her, any cops who tried to stop him, and himself.

Smith was charged with third degree domestic violence and criminal mischief, which sounds less like an actual crime and more like a euphemism for wacky hijinks.

He sounds like a fine, reasonable young man who I assume is still single, if any of you ladies are interested. Dinner is on him.

 

 

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