6 Songs About Masturbation—And 4 That Aren’t


“I Touch Myself”- Divinyls

Perhaps the most obvious song about masturbation on our list. The chorus says simply: “I don’t want anybody else/When I think about you, I touch myself.” Then there’s “I love myself, I want you to love me/When I feel down, I want you above me/I search myself, I want you to find me.” This might also be the most romantic song on our list as well, given that the girl does it constantly while thinking about the man she loves.


“She Bop”- Cyndi Lauper

The song’s title—”She Bop”—sounds like a sex reference, and it’s fairly obvious as to what’s going on here, with lyrics like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking of a new sensation/I’m picking up good vibration,” “Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine/They say I better stop or I’ll go blind” and, “Hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone/Because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone.”


“Longview” – Green Day

Green Day’s hit album Dookie had not one, but two songs about masturbation on it, including the hidden track “All By Myself.” The group’s most famous self-love song is the classic “Longview.” It describes a day in the life of a teenager that’s too lazy to do anything, but play with himself. The lyrics are pretty clear when discussing the topic: “Bite my lip and close my eyes/Take me away to paradise/I’m so damn bored, I’m going blind!!!”




“Touch of My Hand” – Britney Spears

Britney Spears may not have much luck in love, but at least, she can always love herself. In “Touch of My Hand,” she makes it pretty clear that she’s not afraid to take care of business. As the chorus says, ” I love myself/It’s not a sin/I can’t control what’s happenin’.” She further explains that “Imagination’s taking over/Another day without a lover/The more I come to understand/The touch of my hand.”


“B.O.B.” – Macy Gray

Even before you hear the song, the animated vibrators in the video should give you a pretty clear indication of what’s going on. A few choice lyrics include “he fits like a glove/always up for love,” “B-is for Battery/O-is for Operated/B-is for better/cause he’s not complicated” and “he can go all night/dark until the light.”


“Auto-Manipulator” – Crispin Glover

You know Crispin Glover from his role as Marty McFly’s dad in Back to the Future, but he also is a writer, director and recording artist.

His song “Auto-Manipulator” goes a little something like this: ” Women are sweet/And girls are honey/But beat your meat/And save your money.” As if that weren’t enough, it continues with ” I’m an auto manipulator/I play with myself/I’m a masturbater.” Did we mention his middle name is Hellion?


“Turning Japanese” – The Vapors

“Turning Japanese” has been interpreted as a mildly racist description of how men look while climaxing. With lyrics like “I asked the doctor to take your picture/So I can look at you from inside as well” and “I’ve got your picture/Of me and you/You wrote ‘I love you’/I love you too/I sit there staring and there’s nothing else to do,” it’s easy to see why it was thought to be about spanking the monkey. But, according The Vapors themselves, the song is about losing someone you love and feeling like an entirely different person as a result.

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“Dancing With Myself” – Billy Idol

When people hear “Dancing With Myself,” they immediately jump to the conclusion that “dancing” is a euphemism for “playing.” While Billy Idol has conceded that the lyrics could be taken as sexual, in truth he wrote the song after spending time in a Japanese dance club watching patrons watch themselves in the club’s mirrors. He said that “the song is about people being in a disenfranchised world where they’re left bereft, dancing with their own reflections.”

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“Blister in the Sun” – Violent Femmes

With lyrics like “big hands I know you’re the one,” it’s easy to see why people think that this is a fun little ditty about playing with yourself. However, singer/songwriter Gordon Gano said the lyrics are pretty much nonsensical and not particularly deep.

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“Coin-Operated Boy” – The Dresden Dolls

It’s easy to see why anyone would think this tune is about a vibrator when it features lyrics like “He is just a toy but I turn him on and he comes to life/ Automatic joy that is why I want,” “Many shapes and weights to chose from/I will never leave my bedroom” and “I can’t imagine any flesh and blood could be this match/I can even take him in the bath/ Coin operated boy, he may not be real experienced with girls/But I know, he feels like a boy should feel, isn’t that the point.” However, singer/songwriter Amanda Palmer has said that despite her clever use of double-entendre, the song is NOT about a vibrator. In the video below you can see the song seems to be more about having a relationship without all the complications of dealing with a real person.

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One reply on “6 Songs About Masturbation—And 4 That Aren’t”

“But, according The Vapors themselves, the song is about losing someone you love and feeling like an entirely different person as a result.”

Yeah bollocks

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