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Reality television is a mind-numbing but not altogether unpleasant form of entertainment that occasionally veers into the disgusting — it’s like watching softcore porn where the performers sometimes throw up on each other. But make no mistake, the people in charge of making reality television will do literally anything to get you to watch, no matter how exploitative or unethical. Don’t believe me? Here are the six most unethical pieces of garbage they’ve ever churned out:

6. Toddlers & Tiaras


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“But it’s popular,” you say, scratching your li’l head. “How can something so popular and long-running be unethical?” And I respond, “You know who else was popular and long-running? Hitler.” Toddlers & Tiaras is a show about psychotic parents abusing their children to the delight of pedophiles everywhere. The show features extremely young girls getting gussied up into wildly inappropriate outfits while their parents fight. Past highlights include parents padding their five year old daughter’s chest, forcibly waxing a screaming five-year-old’s eyebrows, and making a four-year-old smoke fake cigarettes on stage. What fun!

5. The Swan


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It says a lot that this now-infamous plastic surgery reality show is only number four on our list. Like Toddlers & TiarasThe Swan is about a beauty pageant; unlike Toddlers & Tiaras, it features full grown women with crippling self-esteem issues who get plastic surgery and compete against each other in a beauty pageant. Not only did the show downright call them “ugly” before their surgery-based transformations, but it rewarded them on how far they come from their “ugly” former selves. Cringing yet? If you’re not, GUESS WHAT! You’re The Swan’s gross target audience!

3-4 (Tie). Joe Millionaire/I Wanna Marry “Harry”


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These two shows were both about lying to women and making them look like materialistic shrews. (Are you picking up on a pattern here? Yep, reality TV hates women.) In 2003’s Joe Millionaire, women were tricked into thinking they were competing for the affections of a millionaire bachelor. The ruse was only revealed when he picked the winner, who then had to decide if she will stay with a man who had lied to her for months. Not unethical enough for you? The producers were also caught faking a sex scene between the Joe and one of the contestants, dubbing in unrelated audio and suggestive subtitles. 2014’s I Wanna Marry “Harry” took it a step further, except instead of a millionaire, the women would fight to the death to marry a Prince Harry lookalike that they were told was Prince Harry himself. Thankfully it was cancelled after four episodes.

2. Who’s Your Daddy?


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If you haven’t heard of this show before, try not to throw up. It’s about a woman who was adopted as an infant reconnecting with her biological father … EXCEPT she meets 25 men, 24 of whom are actors, and must guess which one is her dad. If she guesses correctly, she wins $100,000. If she guesses incorrectly, the actor she picks gets $100,000. That’s right, it’s another show about lying to women! It was cancelled after one episode, but the remaining episodes were later broadcast on the Fox Reality Channel. She guessed correctly! Everything is okay, guys!

1. Bridalplasty


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Take everything horrible about The Swan, apply it to brides-to-be, and add in this sentence said to the women who get eliminated: “Your wedding will still go on … it just won’t be perfect.” The winner of the show got an all-expenses-paid wedding, plus all the plastic surgery she wanted. Everyone else got weddings that weren’t perfect because they didn’t involve turning into stretchy-faced nightmare people.

 

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