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6 Weirdly Branded Theme Park Attractions

6 Weirdly Branded Theme Park Attractions

Sometimes, the pairing of an existing intellectual property with a theme park ride or attraction just makes sense — why not combine the thrill of a high-speed adventure with the familiar mythology of you favorite movie or TV show? But at other times, pop culture-based rides are blatant, bonkers cash grabs destined to implode. These are the latter. Here are five weirdly branded theme park attractions.

 

Creature from the Black Lagoon – The Musical

branded attractions lagoon
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Another attraction from Universal Studios Hollywood was Creature from the Black Lagoon — The Musical, which boasted a lifespan of a whopping eight months in 2009. Actual performances ran only two of those eight. Hopefully, the demise of CFTBLTM doesn’t spell disaster for the ultra-cost-effective Invisible Man stage show I’m pitching to theme parks.

 

Chicken Run walk-through maze

branded attractions chicken
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On a site at Universal Studios Hollywood that would eventually be home to haunted attractions based on The Mummy was once a walk-through attraction based on the 2000 stop-motion animated comedy Chicken Run. (Remember, this was back when things could still be based on properties starring Mel Gibson.) It was surely already weird, but an animatronic Mel Gibson shouting profanities at hapless guests would have pushed this ride into “legendary” territory, right?

 

Terminator: Salvation

branded attractions terminator
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While the Terminator franchise isn’t necessarily a bad fit for a roller coaster, Six Flags Magic Mountain might have done well to gauge fan interest before branding their newest wooden coaster in 2009. People weren’t crazy about the fourth film, Terminator: Salvation, nor were they busting down doors to ride the ride it inspired. The movie theme was short-lived and replaced with the infinitely more generic Apocalypse name. And yet, the coaster still promises the exact same amount of herky-jerky motion sickness as its predecessor.

 

Murder, She Wrote Mystery Theatre

branded attractions murder she wrote
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You might not remember, but Murder, She Wrote was a long running CBS TV series where an elderly mystery novelist solves murders in her surprisingly murder-filled small town. This “attraction” had guests learn about television production, makeup, and visual effects, with the guests acting as “executive producers” while making a fake episode ofMurder She Wrote. You know, living the 90’s dream!

 

Dollywood

branded attractions dolly
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If you’re wondering why the world needed an entire Dolly Parton-themed amusement park, well… some of life’s mysteries just aren’t meant to be explained.

 

The Undertaker: No Mercy haunted maze

branded attractions undertaker
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Before Universal Studios Hollywood brought back Halloween Horror Nights for the long haul in 2006, it went through a few weird years in the early aughts. Case in point — the 2000 iteration of the event, which featured a haunted walk-through based on the mythology surrounding the legendary Undertaker, a pro wrestler best described as an Old West mortician-turned-wrestling-zombie. You could do worse for a haunted house theme, but the maze was produced during what would be known as the Undertaker’s “American Badass” phase. That is, a phase during which he rode motorcycles to the ring while Limp Bizkit’s “Rollin’” played. Now, a Fred Durst-starring theme park attraction? We just may be on to something. Think of all the fitted New Era caps you’d sell!

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One reply on “6 Weirdly Branded Theme Park Attractions”

Dollyworld is awesome!

I imagine I could just get lost in between those mountains, hugging that inner track and smothering from excitement.

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