1. Stay Puft Marshmallows (Ghostbusters)
The Ghostbusters’ universe equivalent of 9/11
Man, kinda hard to imagine anyone going out and buying a bag of Stay-Puft after the events of Ghostbusters. Like, that was a supernatural disaster on the scale of 9/11, except if 9/11 were committed by a horrifying enormous science-defying food mascot. Like, you wouldn’t buy Al-Qaeda brand marshmallows after 9/11, right? Right.
And it wasn’t Stay-Puft’s fault at all! Just cuz Dan Aykroyd couldn’t manage to keep his mind blank for like 3 minutes, a marshmallow company will forever be associated with a Godzilla-level event happening in NYC.
2. Trask Industries (X-Men: Days of Future Past)
“If you think about it, the guy trying to protect everyone from the people who can control your mind and drop stadiums on the White House is the REAL enemy.”
Here’s the deal – the Sentinels were pretty well-made (it’s not like Bolivar Trask could have known he’d have to build them without using ANY metal, given Magneto was imprisoned at the time of their creation), and by the end of the film, it’s clear that they WERE necessary. Mutants are DANGEROUS AS HELL. Just because Mystique doesn’t shoot Bolivar Trask and/or Nixon in the face doesn’t disprove anything – Magneto just dropped a FUCKING STADIUM around the White House and took control of the Sentinels and oh yeah there’s Charles Xavier, the guy who can control anyone’s mind whenever he feels like it.
Trask Industries did good, quality work, and got ruined forever by those meddling mutants. Sure, in the future, they would have EVENTUALLY become evil, but it’s not really fair to punish a company BEFORE they do anything wrong.
3. Museums With Dinosaur Fossils (Jurassic World)
Astronaut Ice Cream sales have been plummeting for years – and now THIS?
Regular zoos probably fell out of favor BIGTIME when a functioning Dinosaur Zoo opened, but I’m not gonna say zoos are undeserving of failure – they’re animal prisons and are weird and sad to begin with, so fuck ’em. But museums that banked on big dinosaur fossils as their key attraction? That’s years of investment and careful archaeology work, all wasted.
After REAL LIVING DINOSAURS are around, who’s gonna give a shit about going to a place to see some bones? No one, that’s who. Museums probably got hit real hard in the world of Jurassic World, and all the astronaut ice cream sales in the world won’t make up the money they lost.
4. Play Pals Toy Company (Child’s Play)
“We’re calling the toys ‘Good Guys’? That feels like it might ironically blow up in our faces. Instead, let’s call them ‘Nice Dolls That Will Never Murder Anyone.'”
Jeez, ONE serial killer transfers his soul into A SINGLE ONE OF YOUR TOYS and suddenly your toys are forever associated with evil murder dolls.To be fair, the business troubles experienced by Play Pals becomes a plot point in the sequels, but it stands to reason that (even if they made some bad decisions AFTER the fact), no one should really be stuck in the PR position of explaining why your doll murdered a whole buncha people.
5. Any of the teams in Angels in the Outfield
Sorry about this to the 5,000 orphans who really liked the Yankees, but God doesn’t give a shit about you.
Maaaaaaaaaan every other team in the American League in Angels In the Outfield got a raw deal. They had to compete with a team that literally had the forces of GOD on their side, cheating for them the entire season, and fucking up 100+ games. And just cuz…ONE orphan liked the Angels a bunch? I bet there were a bunch of orphans who liked the Kansas City Royals. At LEAST 10 orphans loved the Chicago White Sox. But they all got their games fixed by the powers of Heaven, and probably cost them endorsement deals, contracts, and untold amounts of lost revenue.
Really not fair, unless all of THEIR orphans were praying to Satan or something.
6. Chuck Berry/Chess Records (Back to the Future)
Biff was the REAL hero of Back to the Future. Well, okay, maybe not, but still less of a dick than Marty.
Cool – now Chuck Berry is just a plagiarist, thanks to a squeaky-voiced time-travellin’ teen and Chuck Berry’s nosy cousin, and his influence on popular music is forever in question. No doubt everyone at the prom that night would remember the performance and accuse Chuck Berry of stealing one of his most popular early songs (which he would have written on his own REGARDLESS of Marty McFly‘s performance).
Also, depending on when George McFly wrote his manuscript for his eventual novel (which was inspired by events in 1955, but not published until 1985), he may have been able to sue George Lucas for copyright infringement for stealing the name “Darth Vader.”
Basically, Marty McFly ruined a bunch of stuff.
7. Wayne Industries (Batman Begins)
“Well, at least they didn’t develop a power source that could be used as a nuclear bomb! …yet.”
Wayne Industries would have been in a LOT of hot water by the end of Batman Begins – for some reason, they had developed an insane microwave device that just evaporated water in a pretty massive radius and – surprise surprise – it got stolen by evil ninja terrorists, who used it on Gotham to release Insanity Powder (or Fear Gas, whatever) basically everywhere.
However, that’s not super-fair to Wayne Industries – it’s not like they could have EXPECTED a vengeful cabal of ninja assassin terrorists would target this prototype weapon and use it in a legit stupid plan that ignored the fact that it should have evaportaed EVERY HUMAN BEING IT WENT NEAR SINCE HUMANS ARE LIKE 70% WATER AND IT SHOULD HAVE TURNED THE POPULATION OF GOTHAM INTO WEIRD PUDDLES OF GOO AND BONES. And Wayne Industries really didn’t need this kind of bad publicity (driving like 25% of the city insane, possibly turning 25% of the city into puddles) – they’re the biggest business in the city, providing the most (non-henchmen) jobs, AND providing public transit (for some reason).
But post-Batman Begins, Wayne Industries would have the rep of the ACME corporation from Looney Tunes, except if an ACME product had driven everyone in the state of Arizona insane instead of stopping a fast bird.
7 Companies From Movies That Got Unfairly Screwed