The 7 Most Embarrassing Friends You Can Have

Friends are awesome, but unfortunately, they can also be embarrassing. Sometimes you want to be friends with someone because deep down they’re cool, but they keep publicly embarrassing themselves and, more importantly, you. You’re not the only saint putting up with some aggravating buddies. Here are the seven most embarrassing friends you can have.

1) The friend who talks too loudly

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Every moment you’re around them you’re trying to hold back from saying, “Dude, why are you talking so loud? I can hear you. I can ALWAYS hear you. We’re in my living room, not Madison Square Garden.” Can they not tell that every single other person in the world talks at a level significantly quieter than theirs?

2) The friend who smells bad

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Oh, this one’s rough. You have a friend and they’re cool and fun to be around but they’re just kinda stinky. Maybe they don’t believe in deodorant or puberty is just hitting REAL hard, you’re not sure. And you don’t want to be mean! But if you stand too close to them, everyone will think you are stinky, too. At the end of the day, yes, it is harder to be the stinky one. But it sucks to be you, too.

3) The friend who can’t stop macking

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Everywhere you go, they’re hitting on someone who probably does not want to be hit on. Most people, most of the time, do not want to be hit on. This friend does not get it, and sees every passerby as a possible love interest. Life is not a movie! You are not going to get a date at Walgreen’s! Chill!

4) The one who doesn’t realize they’re saying prejudiced sh*t

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They call things “gay” and “retarded” and think it’s fine to make squinty eyes and pretend to be Asian. It’s not. And you’re like, “dude, not cool”. But it’s also weird to yell at your friend, right? You’re pretty sure they’re actually a good person, they just somehow didn’t get the memo about what’s not cool to say anymore. Personally, I find the best course of action is just to go ahead and make it weird, call them out, and if they don’t realize that you’re right and they’re dumb, they don’t deserve to have friends. But that’s just me 😀

5) The friend who tries to be cool but will never be cool

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If they would just be themselves, everything would be fine! Why won’t they stop wearing that fedora? They keep saying that their weekend was “on fleek” and dude, that’s not even how you use that word. Somewhere deep inside there’s an interesting person who decided for some reason that they weren’t good enough. It’s okay, friend. You’re good enough the way you are. We like you. Take off that fedora.

6) The friend who is trying to be a rapper who cannot be a rapper

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Do we tell him it’s never going to happen, or is that crushing his dream? Are we assholes if we crush his dream if he’s a very very bad rapper, and is constantly trying to get everyone to subscribe to his YouTube channel? Every time you introduce him to someone he corrects you and says, “actually I go by Skreeze” and tells the person about the Vine he posted where he raps about pizza. It got 6 revines and counting, bro! You took him to your friend’s birthday party and he tried to get her to play his mixtape. It would be fine if he was just rapping, and maybe slowly putting the work into making his career (never) happen. But he’s trying to make everyone he meets his FAN. I’m not your fan, dude. We went to 8th grade together. I remember when you had frosted tips. I’m not liking your Facebook “fan” page. Stop asking my mom to follow you on Instagram. She’s a mom, she doesn’t have Instagram.

7) The One-Upper

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They HAVE to have a better story than everyone around them. You got caught in the rain and all your stuff got wet? Your friend got caught in a tornado, and all their stuff blew away. Your mom had surgery? Your friend had ten surgeries. Your boyfriend’s grandma died? Your friend had ten grandparents, and they all died. In World War II. You can usually laugh off their crap when it’s just the two of you, but when they’re talking a bunch of bullsh*t to someone you introduced them to, you want to be like, “Oh, this person I brought here and introduced as a friend? I don’t know them.”

Do you have any of these friends?


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