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7 Of The Most Incomprehensible Plots In Video Games

As a storytelling medium, video games are still finding their groove; a lot of games tell very good stories quite successfully, right down to mastering the plot twist. Others, though, have been weighed down by grandiose ideas, bad translations, or even just sheer laziness. Here are the video games with plots that are just, well, nonsense:

 

Metal Gear Solid 2

 

The plot for Metal Gear Solid 2‘s story isn’t much more convoluted than the other Metal Gear games, but it was the most convoluted. The game is chock full of vampires, reveals that people you’ve been talking to the entire game are actually dead, a president who isn’t really the president, and honestly, I’ve exhausted myself just rehashing it like that right now.

 

Final Fantasy Tactics

 

There’s pretty much zero levity in Final Fantasy Tactics, and since there is so much double crossing and backstabbing involved in its story, it makes it really tough to understand the characters’ motivations. They also talk about things like zodiac stones, and the different (fictional) nations with such familiarity that a part of you feels dumb for not being familiar with all of this made-up fantasy stuff that you’re just being introduced to now.

 

Parasite Eve

 

You’d think “insane monster invades New York City” wouldn’t exactly require a graduate degree to understand, but then you get into stuff like “Mitochondria”, and this gem from the game’s Wikipedia page:

“She goes to Dr. Klamp one more time, and discovers that Dr. Klamp has engineered special sperm for Eve so that she can create the Ultimate Being.[17] He then spontaneously combusts.”

Engineered special sperm. Engineered special sperm.

 

Yars’ Revenge

 

Yes, Yars’ Revenge the Atari game. This thing came with a comic book that sort of set up the story for the game, and it is VERY weird. Did you know that Yars evolved from house flies, and they’re seeking actual revenge against another race of aliens that destroyed one of their planets? Read all about it!

 

Xenogears

 

You may have noticed there are a lot of Square games on this list, and that’s because man those games have giant large themes, with a lot of talk of godhood, and evolution, and giant secret robots. Of all of their games, though, Xenogears is the most baffling. First of all, it’s long as hell, which means you’ve probably forgotten a bunch of important plot details because in our new, horrible economy, most of us spend 80 percent of our lives working for various apps.

 

Legacy Of Kain: Soul Reaver

 

I’m including the entire series here (outside of the first one, which has a nice tight little narrative) because it uses so much time travel, and fate, and destiny garbage that it is absolutely baffling.

 

Assassin’s Creed

 

I guess I remain baffled as to how the whole “going back in time for a computer simulation” thing works? Like, I’ve beaten a few Assassin’s Creed games, and I still don’t understand the narrative device binding them all together? Also, again, palace intrigue is very difficult to pull off in video games, for whatever reason.

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