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1.

Biting into a Kit-Kat.

Just because there’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s doesn’t mean you have the green light to Break that sh-t off, you terrorist.

2.

Eating pizza with a knife and a fork.

Pizza isn’t meant to be sliced, diced and poked at with utensils. Pizza deserves to be consumed honorably, from the flesh of human hands directly to the promise land of their mouth.

3.

Leaving more than 25% of a chicken wing’s meat on the bone.

So disrespectful.

4.

Ordering plain vanilla at an ice cream shop.

If it’s an ordinary frozen treat you seek over flavors and toppings, buy it from the store and eat it in private. Don’t perform this blasphemous act in a public Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone, where there might be children around.

5.

Picking from the most heavily topped nachos when they don’t belong to you.

If you’re taking from someone else’s nachos, even if they said you could have some, the courteous thing to do is pick chips on the border, steering clear of the topping drenched, sacred middle nachos.

6.

Taking bites out of string cheese instead of peeling it.

BASIC DAIRY ETIQUETTE, FOLKS. Y’don’t slurp up the liquid on top of greek yogurt, and you have patience with your string of cheese.

7.

Putting A1 sauce on a high quality steak.

A1 on a superb slab of meat is as unnecessary as cheap makeup caked on a naturally beautiful face.

 

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