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7-Year-Old Boy Charged After Peeing On Neighbor’s Steaks

Honey, please tell me we didn’t run out of Lawry’s because we’re going to need a little extra on these cuts.
According to Fox News, a 7-year-old boy in Maryland was charged with one count of malicious destruction of property of $1,000 after he pissed on his neighbor’s steaks earlier this month.

 

Police were called to a Lexington Park home after somebody there called police about a bizarre case of what apparently gets classified as destruction of property in those parts. When police arrived on the scene, a short investigation revealed that the boy took a piss from the roof of his house onto his neighbor’s steaks being grilled below him.

The reason the investigation didn’t take very long to complete? You guessed it: Somebody actually captured the kid taking a leak on the steaks on their camera, which on its own seems like a rather odd situation. I mean, perhaps a “Hey kid, stop pissing on my fucking dinner and get down here because you’re grounded” would have sufficed instead of silently filming him taking a piss.

 

Either way, the craziest part of the story might be that the property was valued at $1,000, which begs the obvious question of “What in the hell were those steaks made of, unicorns?” Good lord.

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