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They say money can’t buy happiness , but the customers of these products probably beg to differ. Behold, the most expensive sex toys we could find* that MUST have brought a grin or two.

*From eBay, because the internet is far too vast and scary for such a search. Plus eBay descriptions are amusing.

1. “Vibrator – Lelo – Inez Vibrator Gold”

eBay Title Translation: Gold Vibrator

Price: $13,340

Although if you’re TRULY rich, for around $500k you could buy a legit gold bar and stick it up there.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: The fact they used adjectives such as luxurious, elegant, and evocative to describe a vibrator.

ebay

2. “1/4 Lot Sex Toy Penis Ring Extender Enlarger Sleeve Condom Erection Impotenc Aid”

eBay Title Translation: Pricy Penis Sleeves

Price: $11,318.43

Sure, this one might be a mistake considering only one sleeve is over $10,000, and the other three are closer to $15, but maybe, just maybe this one penis sleeve is THAT special. Someone please order this and let us know.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: You may return it within 30 days. Gross.

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3. “170 cm beautiful Platinum Silicone Sex Doll is she fake? Yes or no”

eBay Title Translation: Priciest Sex Doll On Ebay

Price: $4,995

Why is this item asking you a question? Also, spoiler alert: They say she’s NOT fake. Which only raises more questions.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: This quote: “Once you have decided, your adoption paperwork will be sent to her maker John within 3 days.”

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4. “New 2015 design 4.6′ Realistic Sex Doll Silicone Rubber Life Size build to spec”

eBay Title Translation: Blue Hair Sex Doll

Price: $4,300

If I’m paying $4000+, I want this year’s model.

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Best (worst) actual quote from the seller: Under ‘Brand,’ they’ve simply written ‘fun.’

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5. “100% PLATINUM SILICONE Sex doll ANIME MANGA CARTOON Love dolls 145cm 57 inch”

eBay Title Translation: Anime Sex Doll

Price: $4,279

Because everyone has a friend who likes anime a little  too much.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: The fact they’ve pre-named her Tina. She has customizable skin, joints, and orifices, but her name MUST be Tina.

ebay

6. “Life Size Full Body Silicone Adult Sex Male Doll With Metal Skeleton For Women G”

eBay Title Translation: Sex Doll, But a Guy This Time

Price: $3,997

Is that a  banana in his pocket or is he just happy to see me? Oh, it’s a “top-class medical quality silicone resin penis?” Well then. That settles that.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: It has a view counter and it’s at a remarkably high 32,355 views.

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7. “LELO YVA”

eBay Title Translation: Smaller, dented version of previous gold vibrator

Price: $2,890

Because sometimes lugging around your full-sized gold-plated vibrator can be  such a drag.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: Shipping is $9.90. They do not throw in free shipping for a $3,000 gold vibrator.

ebay

8. “Extremely Realistic Love Doll Male Masturbator Sex Toy Anal Vaginal TPR 36DD”

eBay Title Translation: Sex Doll That Can’t Watch You

Price: $1,750.99

“Extremely realistic?” They might have overlooked the entire, no-head-or-limbs thing.

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Best (worst) thing about this product: It’s trademarked – TRADEMARKED – product name is Mega Fuck Slut Mega Masturbator. Trademarked. So don’t steal it.

ebay

SOURCE

 

 

 

 

8 More Of The Most Expensive Sex Toys Money Can Buy

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