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8 Famous Actors Who Have Literally Never Been Good In A Movie

 

 

It’s no secret that fame and talent have never been synonymous in Hollywood: exceptional actors will spend years slogging away thanklessly in indie movies nobody watches while attractive young performers effortlessly win A-list roles they clearly don’t deserve. It’s just the nature of the industry.

However, even a bad or mediocre actor usually stumbles their way into a good performance sooner or later, when the material is right or they’re teamed with a filmmaker who knows how to use them appropriately.

For instance, Vin Diesel gave his single decent turn in Sidney Lumet’s 2006 dramedy Find Me Guilty (though nobody saw it), Hayden Christensen was terrific in Shattered Glass, and Jean-Claude Van Damme killed it in JCVD. And that’s basically their lot.

As for these 8 actors, however, not once have they turned in a genuinely good performance. Despite most of them headlining many major movies over the years, they’ve all been unremarkable at their best and really quite awful at their worst.

It’s actually not that easy to give consistently forgettable and bad performances in films, because the law of probability dictates even the worst actors will eventually be utilised effectively, but sadly not in these instances.

8. Jessica Alba

Summit Entertainment

It isn’t unfair to say that early-2000s Jessica Alba was a casting agent’s dream: her combination of beauty and likeability allowed her to be cast in a number of high-profile movies, though this sadly hasn’t translated to her giving a single good performance to date.

Alba has just two major critically-praised movies under her belt, Sin City and Machete, neither of which benefited at all from her presence.

If anything, her refusal to disrobe for Sin City’s strip club scenes drew distracting attention to the fact she was cast because of her star power rather than her ability and her willingness to commit to the movie’s bold, R-rated tone.

As for Machete, despite being a main character she’s staggeringly dull when stood next to the likes of Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro and, yes, Steven Seagal.

Alba’s career has taken a backseat to motherhood in recent years, though when she does show up in a movie, she tends to play the attractive yet forgettable girlfriend role. As easy on the eyes as she is, she’s otherwise brought desperately little to the table.

7. Scott Eastwood

Universal

If we’re talking about actors cast solely for their impeccable good looks, then Scott Eastwood is probably the male Jessica Alba. Granted, he also has the backing of his legendary pop Clint Eastwood, but inheriting his father’s chiselled jaw and piercing eyes has done him a world of good.

Unfortunately Scott doesn’t appear to have also received Clint’s rough-hewn charisma, and practically every performance he’s given in a major movie has been distractingly stiff. The most egregious examples include The Longest Ride, Suicide Squad, The Fate of the Furious and, most blatantly, Pacific Rim: Uprising.

He’s starred in a few well-reviewed films, sure, but none of them were remotely because of his efforts. At least he’s rarely cast as the lead despite his daddy’s esteem, perhaps suggesting that his agent is aware he’s better-suited for smaller, supporting roles where he doesn’t have to speak or, you know, emote as much.

6. Charlie Day

Universal

Charlie Day may be an absolute riot on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but it’s always been a bit baffling that he’s ended up the show’s most successful main cast member.

Though he’s appeared in numerous broadly acclaimed films over the last few years – Horrible Bosses, Monsters University, Pacific Rim and The Lego Movie – they’ve basically all been in spite of his shrill, obnoxiously high-pitched voice and fairly one-note comedy shtick.

Yes, we all laughed at “Spaceship!” in The Lego Movie, but that’s all there is to his performance. His squeaky bleating is ultimately more irritating than funny, and the fact that he’s enjoyed a prosperous movie career while It’s Always Sunny’s Glenn Howerton remains stuck in TV land is completely inexplicable.

There’s certainly potential for the right script to shape his acting style into something both compelling and funny, but Day seems far too eager to just dine out on the same mode of performance every single time.

5. January Jones

Fox

Though January Jones was perfectly cast as Don Draper’s ice-queen Stepford Wife Betty on Mad Men, the actress hasn’t managed to parlay her TV success into a compelling movie career.

Despite appearing in a number of critically acclaimed movies, she’s either left no lasting impression whatsoever or, worse still, left only a black hole of charisma in her wake, as with her widely-reviled performance as Emma Frost in X-Men: First Class.

She certainly fits the physical requirements of the role, but makes Frost less a seductive mutant and more a bland fembot entirely devoid of personality. She was at least trying to act in 2015’s war drama Good Kill, though co-star Ethan Hawke ran circles around her, and she never rose to be anything more than a generic wife character.

And that’s probably what Jones is likely to be confined to playing for the rest of the career: the beautiful wife who appears only in forgettable, unnecessary subplots.

4. Pauly Shore

Buena Vista Pictures

Pauly Shore is a rarity on this list, because in addition to never giving a good performance ever, he’s also not even appeared in a single critically acclaimed feature film.

Shore’s followed the trajectory of countless successful stand-up comedians transitioning into film, and though Hollywood desperately tried to make him happen in the early-to-mid 1990s, neither critics nor audiences were particularly fussed with his obnoxious, grating brand of physical comedy.

Encino Man has its fans, sure, but that’s largely in spite of Shore’s presence and entirely down to Brendan Fraser’s entertaining performance. The likes of In the Army Now, Jury Duty and Bio-Dome, meanwhile, are absolutely insufferable.

Shore’s movie career tanked by the late 90s, and his sporadic film appearances since have either been critically panned or not even screened by the press. He appears to have begrudgingly accepted defeat, but his commitment to turning in universally awful performances over the years is almost impressive in its uniformity.

3. Cara Delevingne

Warner Bros.

Cara Delevingne is another actress Hollywood desperately wants to be a thing, yet despite her striking looks and unique vocal tenor, she doesn’t have much in terms of natural charisma or acting ability.

It’s fair to say Delevingne’s been more aggressively mediocre than outright terrible in most of her movies, playing self-consciously cool ciphers without much going on behind the eyes.

Then Suicide Squad happened and everyone realised just how bad she could be. Granted, the film as a whole was a mess and she had to wrestle against some incredibly poor visual effects, but her hip-shaking, off-kilter performance was absolutely laughable, proving how thoroughly miscast she was as Enchantress.

She does deserve the mildest praise for bringing a minor level of charm to Valerian: The City of a Thousand Planets last year, but when stood next to the personality void that is Dane DeHaan, just about anyone would seem passable.

2. Andy Dick

DreamWorks

Remember Andy Dick? The eccentric comedian’s movie career picked up considerable steam in the mid-90s, with him co-starring in Pauly Shore’s In the Army Now (yikes), before having a number of offputting cameos in otherwise moderately enjoyable studio comedies, such as Dude Where’s My Car?, Road Trip and Zoolander.

Audiences quickly grew fed up of his nasal voice and affected weirdness, though, and at present the last “significant” movie project he appeared in was Sharknado 2: The Second One. Nice.

Even the few good movies he’s appeared in over his career ultimately work regardless of his involvement, and pretty much any time he shows up in a movie it elicits a long, laboured groan.

Plus, with Dick recently being fired from two movies for inappropriate on-set behaviour, the likelihood of him ever appearing in another good movie, let alone one that can allow him to actually give a good performance, is extremely unlikely.

1. Amber Heard

Gaumont Film

And finally, we have Amber Heard. It’s not so much that she’s a terrible actress, but she just brings a listlessness to practically every single role she’s ever performed.

Heard has shown up in a number of acclaimed films over the years – Zombieland, Magic Mike XXL and The Danish Girl – though in each instance she’s been intensely forgettable, clearly having been cast for her looks rather than her acting ability.

She’s most often cast as the sexy love interest or “prize” for the male protagonist, and while the upcoming Aquaman could finally give her the meaty role she’s been waiting for, the smart money’s on her bringing disappointingly little to the part of Arthur Curry’s love interest Mera.

She’s probably one of the safer bets on this list to eventually break her streak of mediocre performances, but just don’t expect it to happen anytime soon.

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