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The 9 Crappiest Twist Endings Ever In Movies

 

M.Photo: Warner Bros.

We love a good movie, but it’s a bit of a commitment these days to give something two hours of our time when we rarely give anything more than two seconds. You can imagine how we feel when we invest such scarce free time from our important lives into movies with the crappiest twist endings ever (i.e. most things by Shyamalan). From Signs to The Sixth Sense and from classics like Planet of the Apes to heavy fan favorite like The Dark Knight Rises, we’re finding some of the moviegoer’s favorite films are riddled with late-in-the-game plot holes and crap twist endings.

It’s not easy being original in film these days, but that doesn’t necessarily endorse the idea of putting out a pile of garbage at the end of a long build-up, especially when it’s with our favorite superheroes, greatest directors or long-awaited reboots.

Have a look at the crappiest twist endings in ever in movies and see if you agree with us or if you can think of some better ones. Leave it in the comments section, or just eat our shorts because we really don’t care what you think. Kidding! Or are we?

“Signs”

We could probably put all his movies in this category for one reason or another, but Shyamalan made a pretty decent movie with Mel Gibson’s Signs, at least until we realized the aliens’ weakness is water. Fucking water! For intelligent beings they picked the planet full of their weakness to inhabit. Why couldn’t it be syrup? People hate how sticky that shit is, totally believable, and way more fun.

The Village

The movie had plenty of strange settings, like that it wasn’t actually set in the old days. But the part that made our skin crawl was that Shyamalan himself had to do a cameo and present himself as the architect behind it all. What a narcissistic prick.

 

The Dark Knight Rises

There are so many holes, we even can’t pick. Let’s see: escaping the bomb blast in a helicopter with no gas, running away with Catwoman, faking his death, leaving his billionaire house to orphans, ignoring his lifetime butler he happened to bump into in a foreign country, the gravestone scene, and all this after impressively recovering from a back injury to climb out of a pit nobody in good shape could escape from. So there’s that, only to return to a city that had been cut off at the bridges in a time where Bruce has no money. Oh, and the girl he banged is secretly his greatest enemy who has the most pathetic death in all the Batman films put together. And you thought Batman & Robin was the worst blockbuster of the past 20 years?

 

Jurassic Park: The Lost World

The movie was going great, especially for a sequel, up until they let the T-Rex loose in the city. Not only was that cargo container way too small to be believable, but the deleted scenes botched the storyline about how the crew was killed and then left us wondering what the hell happened to the raptors in the city. Maybe that’s the plot of Jurassic Universe: Raptor Galaxy down the road.

 

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

How do you still know if you’re dead and not in the sequel? Besides an awful title, the plot of the son of the killer duping the characters into an island getaway is beyond hysterical. Seems like a lot of work and an awfully nice way to treat someone you want to kill. And the name game with Ben Willis’s son (Ben-son, they drove that home) only made the terrible ending more ridiculous. That must’ve halted the third film, I Sort of Remember What You Did Last Summer But I’m a Little Fuzzy on It, Thrice.

The Sixth Sense

Most people were shocked to realize Bruce Willis is dead the whole movie. Our problem believing it lies in the fact that it’s hard to imagine his wife never spoke to him in the film and they got by with it. Of course, we’ve never been married so maybe that’s realistic.

 

Planet of the Apes

Turns out, they were on Earth the entire time. Hard to imagine, considering every clue of the movie led us to assume that from the beginning. Strangely enough, it wasn’t nearly as bad as Tim Burton’s “Apes” movie.

Skyfall

There’s no doubt the Sam Mendes Bond films were all well written and the best of our time, but the perfect timing of Skyfall leaves zero margin error when it comes Javier Bardem’s escape. He may have been a double agent in his day, but no one could easily escape from a facility like that with such grace. Luckily our suspension of reality had a high threshold that day.

The Number 23

It was kind of like Fight Club, but not. The way they led you down a path where Jim Carrey’s character tries to unravel the mystery only to find he is the mystery; it almost seemed unique, except that you could see it coming from a mile away. I wrote a book (two actually) and I remember doing both quite well.

 

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