The man who tried to chew off his own fingerprints

Kenzo Roberts was in a pickle—he was pulled over by a Lee County sheriff in a stolen 2015 Mercedes with a fake ID, stolen credit cards, and a concealed firearm. While in the back of the police car, Roberts concluded that the only way to avoid being fingerprinted and positively identified was to gnaw off his own fingertips. The ruse didn’t work as planned—the scanner at the station was still able to positively ID him and revealed he had two outstanding felony assault warrants and was in the country illegally. (Source | Photo)


The man who spray painted his face black for camouflage

Jose Espinoza was wanted by the cops for stealing a car. When officers from the Madera Police Department came to his house, he fled. However, he was caught a few hours later trying to blend into the shadows—by spray painting his face black. He was discovered standing against a white wall a block away from his home. “The camouflage was ineffective,” said the police, stating the obvious. (Source | Via)


The women who tried to steal back a drug test

It was a meth… get it? meth?

Krystal Evans was on probation and had to be regularly screened for drugs. Fearing she might fail her latest test, she enlisted her friend, Denise McClure, to help her. They flagged down the DHL delivery truck that was transporting the sample to the court, claiming to have forgotten to put something in a package. When the driver opened the back door, the women attempted to find Evans’ drug test. After he threatened to call police, the women fled the scene. They were arrested for trying to destroy evidence and eventually sentenced. It turned out that Evans’ original test was negative, but an oral test taken after the arrest came back positive for meth. (Source)


The man who tried to bribe the victim of his robbery

In 2006, Neal Mathias Reisel entered the A-1 Title Pawn store in Athens, Alabama and pepper sprayed a female employee. As she ran out of the store screaming, Reisel made off with a wad of cash. Police charged him with first-degree robbery, but he insisted he was forced to rob the pawn shop by two men. While awaiting trial, Reisel called the shop and, according to the woman who ran it, offered her cash to drop charges against him. Reisel was arrested for bribery, but he had a different version of events. According to the police captain, Reisel said he merely offered to buy the pawn shop a new security system so they wouldn’t get robbed again. (Source)


The kidnapper who sued a couple for escaping

What would Judge Judy say?

Murder suspect Jesse Dimmick was being chased by the cops when they blew out the tires in the stolen van he was driving. Thinking quickly, he jumped out and ran to the nearby home of newlyweds Jared and Lindsay Rowley, threatening them with a knife unless they protected him. The Rowleys stayed calm and gained Dimmick’s trust by giving him snacks and watching the movie Patch Adams with him.

Dimmick got so comfortable, however, that he fell asleep, allowing the couple to escape. He was later arrested for murder and sued by the Rowleys for $75,000 for trauma related to the incident. However, in a bizarre twist, Dimmick countersued the couple for $225,000, stating that he had a “legally binding oral contract” with the them, which they broke by escaping. (Dimmick’s lawsuit was later dismissed.) (Source)


The duo who used permanent marker on their faces in a break-in attempt

Matthew Allen McNelly and Joey Lee Miller had brilliant disguises—or at least that’s what they thought after having a few beers. The pair attempted to break into a house wearing “masks” using a permanent marker on their faces. When the police pulled over their vehicle near the scene of the crime, they couldn’t help but laugh at their bizarre disguises. The two were arrested for attempted burglary and successful intoxication. (Source)


The man who sent a forged Attorney General’s letter to a prospective employer

In 2007, Neal Mathias Reisel struck again. While trying to get a job as an insurance agent, he sent his potential employer a letter he claimed was from the Alabama Attorney General. The letter stated that Reisel was a victim of identity theft and did not actually commit the crimes on his criminal record. The letter promised that the office would “work our hardest to restore Mr. Reisel’s record to that of a law-abiding, dedicated, and service oriented Alabama resident.” Liberty National Insurance was suspicious of the letter and immediately contacted the police. Reisel was eventually sentenced to 10 years for forgery. (Source)


The man who said he was “just kidding” about robbing a police station

April fool?

According to police, Keithan Manuel walked into a Wilmer, Texas police station with a towel over his hands, asking an officer at the window to give him all her money. The officer stated that after a few moments, Manuel tried to change the subject and check on a warrant, but she called for backup. He was put into custody even though he insisted he was only joking. “Man, I play like that all the time. I didn’t think she would take it seriously,” he said. (Source)


The burglar who called his friends to have them pick him up from a manhunt

Police were called when Phillip Paul McKinney allegedly entered a Tennessee home looking for money and brandishing a knife. When one of the residents picked up a wrench to defend himself, McKinney ran out the back door and hid in the woods. A manhunt ensued for several hours, and at one point police thought they heard McKinney talking on a cell phone. A short while later, he was spotted running out of the wooded area to an awaiting pickup truck. The police immediately forced the truck into a roadblock and the suspect attempted to get away on foot again. Eventually, the truck’s occupants were all apprehended, and three of McKinney’s friends were charged with aiding a fugitive. (Source)

9 Weird Ways Criminals Tried To Avoid Being Caught