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9 WTF Sex Scenes From TV Shows That Caught You By Surprise

1. Frank and Claire Underwood Have an Out-of-Nowhere Threeway with Their Secret Service Guy (House of Cards)

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House of Cards is about 70% Frank Underwood convincing others to do really stupid, nonsensical things in order to fuck themselves over and 20% bizarre sex scenes (and 10% Doug Stamper being creepy for no real reason), but the big winner of the “okay what is even happening here?” sex award goes to Frank and his wife Claire inexplicably having sex with their secret serviceman, Meacham, at the close of an episode.

The weird part really isn’t the actual sex – Claire ‘n Frank are understood to use sex as a tool for establishing power over others, and have a relatively open relationship – but the fact that it’s really given no introduction and basically zero followup makes it stand out as the writers just saying “We need something interesting to close out this random episode – why don’t they just have sex with Meacham?”

It stood out enough that – even though pretty much everyone watched this season binge-style over the course of a single weekend – this was the one moment in a 13 hour block of TV that really stood out.

2. Buffy and Spike Bone a House To Rubble (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

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Buffy has its fair share of disconcerting sex scenes – from Buffy’s sex with Angel causing him to turn into a soulless demon to magic lesbian witch sex – but nothing was weirder than Spike and Buffy starting a destructive relationship with one another, ever so subtly communicated by having them have sex so hard that it DEMOLISHES A HOUSE.

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3. Gabourey Sidibe Had Sex With An Actual Minotaur (American Horror Story)

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In case you’re not familiar with American Horror Story, it’s an anthology horror series where the plots don’t make much sense, Jessica Lange plays a lot of different roles, and you will be subjected to an unsettling sex scene at least once per episode – which makes it difficult to choose ONLY ONE sex scene that’s the most upsetting. Honestly, this list could be 90% AHS (without even getting to Hotel, the Lady Gaga season).

So, let’s just go with the time Precious had sex with a minotaur. I’d give you more context, but   that might just make things EVEN MORE confusing.

4. Don Draper: Vagina Grabber (Mad Men)

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Don Draper sure does like sex! I mean, so does everyone on Mad Men, a show about how people in the 60s were immune from hangovers and constantly had affairs with one another. But Don Draper REALLY likes sex – he has (multiple) affairs nearly every season and just can’t seem to help himself from grabbing his mistress’ vagina sometimes.

Well, ONCE at least – while having an affair with the wife of a comedian working for Sterling Cooper, he gets a little fed up with her negotiation tactics, so corners her on the way to the bathroom, sticks his hand up her dress, and gives her the quickest handjob ever witnessed on basic cable. It was a pretty shocking moment for Mad Men, and that’s saying something – given we’ve seen characters sing in blackface on this show.

 

5. Necktwisting Hate Sex (True Blood)

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True Blood was notable for being – basically – an actually enjoyable version of Twilight, since it was about sexy vampires, but without the creepy abusive relationship subtext and boring-as-hell plotlines. It was campy and a little trashy and involved way more orgies and eviscerations than the last vampire thing I saw (Dracula: Dead and Loving It).

But the most “okay a vampire crawling out of the dirt and having sex with a girl is weird but this is too much” sex scene would have to be in season 3, where Bill is forced into a position – to protect his true love, Sookie – of having to pledge his loyalty to vampire king Russell Edgington and his sire, Lorena. And giving into anger, he decides to have some pretty rough hate sex with Lorena to blow off some steam. And by “pretty rough hate sex,” I mean he literally twists her head backwards so he won’t have to look at her while he fucks her.

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6. SHADOWBABY!! (Game of Thrones)

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Well, to be fair, the most fucked up sex scene in Game of Thrones is prrrrobably when Jaime Lannister rapes his twin sister during the funeral of their incest-child Joffrey – but we’re not gonna include rapes in this list, because that would get a little TOO upsetting (LOOKIN’ AT YOU, AMERICAN HORROR STORY). The only reason I mention it is that, in the book, it’s very consensual twin-incest during the funeral of their dead incest-child. But I digress.

Stannis and his red priest Melisandre aren’t particularly attracted to one another – Stannis thinks only of duty, Melisandre thinks only of religion. But they bone nonetheless atop Stannis’ strategy table for the sole purpose of impregnating Melisandre with a goddamn SHADOWBABY. And even weirder, Stannis stays totally dressed the entire time, while Melisandre is naked as the day she was born. At least take off your heavy long leather jacket if you’re gonna have table sex, Stannis.

7. Soviet 69ing (The Americans)

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A lot of horrifying stuff happens on The Americans, mostly involving torture and executions and ongoing mindgames – but, like all basic cable dramas these days, there’s gotta be some weird sex stuff happenin’.

And, for a sex act as internet-ubiquitous as 69ing, this is one of the few times in recent memory where we actually get to SEE the act happening. Unfortunately, so do the Jennings’ daughter, Paige, who accidentally walks in on her spy parents KGBlowing each other on the bed. While the act itself isn’t very WTF, the context of the daughter seeing it AND the fact we’re watching TV characters engaging in 69 IS pretty surprising and disconcerting.

8. Invisible Demon Possession Sex (Penny Dreadful)

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You cast Eva Green in your TV show or movie for two reasons – one, because she’s an excellent actress (maybe the only redeeming part of the 300 sequel!); and two, because she’s totes down to appear naked, like, basically all the time.

And Penny Dreadful is no exception – midway through the first season, we were treated to a flashback episode that detailed the intertwined past of Mina Harker and Green’s character Vanessa. Vanessa’s life took a bit of a left turn when she was possessed by a demon – and at one point sees a vision of the demon in her head, taking the form of Mina’s father (and former James Bond), Sir Malcolm Murray. In her mind, she’s having sex with him…

…while in reality, she’s totally possessed and humping the air.

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And then her mom walks in, sees the above happening to her daughter, and makes the wise decision to drop dead right then and there.

9. Nathan Fillion and Miss Piggy Had Sex and I Am NOT Okay With That (The Muppets)

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Listen, I have no problem with Miss Piggy and Kermit seeing other people. What I DO have a problem with is a human adult having sex with a pig muppet. First of all, Miss Piggy is a pig, so this is – best case – a horrible case of bestiality. But second of all, she’s a damn muppet. Humans should not have sex with muppets. That’s weird. That’s REAL weird.

Thankfully, we don’t have to actually witness the act. Regardless, the only person who should be gettin’ all up in Miss Piggy is Frank Oz (or whatever puppeteers replaced him).

 

9 WTF Sex Scenes From TV Shows That Caught You By Surprise

 

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