25. Cleveland Browns
You know all those jokes people make about Ohio? You ARE those jokes. And it’s hard to be bothered by a group of people dedicated to an awful franchise that, three years after moving and changing their name to the Ravens, somehow managed to win a Super Bowl. Sure, you might toss the occasional dog biscuit/snowball/glass bottle on the field, but next to Cubs fans, you’re America’s lovable losers — just more adorably delusional. You really thought [Charlie Frye, Brady Quinn, Seneca Wallace, Trent Dilfer, Tim Couch, Jake Delhomme, Brian Hoyer, Colt McCoy, Derek Anderson, Ken Dorsey] were legitimate starting quarterbacks?
24. Buffalo Bills
Bills fans should be much sadder. The Super Bowl quadfecta. The ABSOLUTE FORWARD PASS in the playoffs in Tennessee in 2000. The quarterbacks named Manuel and Edwards and Brohm and Holcomb and Thad Lewis and one-s-short-of-perfect Losman. The snow. And yet, you remain an industrially jovial, generally adorable bunch full of Labatt Blue and misbehavior, but never hate. Witness the Ridiculous Bills Fan Video cottage industry Deadspin’s been nurturing all season, which includes you shoving hands in girlfriends’ butts, slap-fighting in the most viciously friendly manner conceivable, launching yourselves onto tables from high places, using friendly fire to slam Pats fans through other ones, dizzy-batting your heads into the front of buses, anddoing coke. Or who knows, maybe Adderall! Point is, football is supposed to be fun, and you lovable, thick-torsoed goons know how to have it. It was totally a forward pass.
23. Minnesota Vikings
Also known as: “That fanbase currently going through the mental gymnastics of convincing yourselves it’s alright to root for Adrian Peterson after learning about his parenting style.” Oh, and also after this. For a franchise that’s endured a stunning amount of heartbreak and futility on its journey to never winning a Super Bowl, you don’t get nearly the amount of misery hype as, say, a Cleveland or a Buffalo. But your overcompensation for that makes you slightly more obnoxious than those fans, playing the victim card extra hard and going WAY over the top with superfan bravado. But you’re still nice Midwesterners, which means you have even fewer issues giving up and jumping on the Packers bandwagon.
22. Atlanta Falcons
And speaking of mental gymnastics/cognitive dissonance: it’s okay to still love dogs andMichael Vick, right? ‘Cause there’ll always be a place for Vick in your hearts, and you know it’s true. But not Bobby Petrino — that dude can burn in hell. No, seriously. By far the least fair-weather of Atlanta’s pro sports fans (don’t buy into the lazy generalization thatalllll ATL fans are apathetic), the dome gets packed, and it gets LOUD. And despite a relatively futile past dotted with greatness (Steve Bartkowski. Gerald Riggs. Deion Sanders. 2 Legit 2 Quit. The Dirty Birds. Arthur Blank’s mustache.) you’re still savvy enough fans to recognize there’s not a whole lot (thanks for nothing, Eugene Robinson) in your 50-year history to get up in people’s faces about. Unless it’s a Saints fan. In which case, there’s ALWAYS something.