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Babes, Boobs, And Butts: Dan Bilzerian’s Year In Review Video Will Make Your Life Feel Meaningless

Most would not be ashamed to admit that if a genie appeared out of a Bud Light bottle and asked them if they would drop everything to trade lives with Dan Bilzerian, it wouldn’t even be a decision. Saying, “Sorry mom and dad, thanks for providing me with literally everything I have, but for all intents and purposes, I’ve passed away. I’ll be on a yacht in Maldives with girls who can’t spell their own name but know exactly how to spell MDMA.” Dad, of all people should understand, especially after he peeps Bilzerian’s Year In Review video he posted to his 20 million Instagram followers.

If you hate seeing me do well, 2017 gonna be another fucked up year for you-JH [email protected]_raiders

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

https://www.instagram.com/p/BO2CFb_D4hV/

And if pops is still bitter about you trading lives with a stranger and spitting in the face of everything you’ve ever worked for, consider these stats: in a recent interview with Joe Rogan, Bilzerian admitted to having sex nine times in one day, sexing 16 girls in 12 days in France, and owning a private jet, countless cars, and a few houses. But dad, if you’re more of a visual guy, I got you:

America is rioting in the streets over the election, in other news, weed is now legal in Nevada

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

Good morning

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

My team said to post more conservative things so we can get big money from brands, but fuck that, imma just keep livin

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

Headed to Vegas, shoutout to @captain514 for being rich and letting me fly his helicopter around Montreal

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

"Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles." – Frank Lloyd Wright

A post shared by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

Ma and Dad, feel free to sell my Beanie Baby collection. Them shits are vintage and you could probably score a pretty penny. Don’t say I never done nothin’ for ya.

 

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