As many of you know, Chaostrophic has a Facebook page. We post frequently on that page, and for the most part, we feel like the majority of our 2.5 million fans enjoy our articles, photos and videos. But, unfortunately, those great fans who enjoy our content are rarely the ones commenting. Instead, it’s mostly these people. Here are Chaostrophic ten most common types of commenters. (Note: These are 100 percent real comments that we received on our Facebook posts. Names and photos have been protected.)
These folks don’t care about what we just posted, but they do care enough to let us know that.
The Precious Timers
Somebody better give these folks their five minutes back OR ELSE! And you better gtfo here with that clickbait bullshit because that’s a waste of time!!!
As much as we try to get rid of them, they keep coming back. The spammers truly are our most devoted fans.
The Debbie Downers
Who needs context? All you need to know is that if we post an article that certain people want to read but others don’t, it is a sign that society is doomed and we are all living in the end of days and might as well go crawl in a hole and die.
We are not funny. That is what we have learned from our countless critics who know what is funny and what is cool, and know for a fact that Chaostrophic is neither one of those things. Oh, and we’re lousy journalists, too.
The Political Nutjobs
If you follow our site, you’ll know that we don’t really have a political voice. Sure, we make fun of politicians from time to time, but we don’t really care about political matters. Our fans do, though! And they’ll let us know about it, even if we didn’t bring politics up in the first place.
The Random Memers
Sometimes our posts call for a funny meme to be added to the comments section. The one with Michael Jackson eating popcorn, for instance. But more commonplace than that are the people who add a meme they think is hilarious to the comments that has nothing to do with the original subject matter. We don’t get it, but hey, whatever makes you happy.
Racism, homophobia and plenty of grammatical errors run rampant in this group. But we know that deep down inside, they really love and respect us. (Note: We could have included thousands of examples here, but this one gets the point across nicely.)
The Possibly Drunk
Believe it or not, some people actually add compliments and amusing jokes to the comments section. And whoever you are, we love you.
CHAOSTROPHIC’S 10 MOST COMMON FACEBOOK PAGE COMMENTERS