When neighbors heard shrieking, the sound of furniture being tossed around, and a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead! Die Die!” they very understandably called the police, and warned them of a possible case of domestic violence. When the cops arrived at the residence in question though, they could find no woman. Just one very distraught man. According to the police’s Facebook page, this is the conversation that then took place:

Police: “Where’s your wife?”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “Where’s your girlfriend?”
Male: “Umm I don’t have one”
Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”
Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I live alone”
Police: “Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit”

At this point the male became very sheepish.

Police: “Come on mate, what have you done to her?”
Male: “It was a spider”
Police “Sorry?”
Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!”
Police: “What about the women screaming?”
Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders

The cops confirmed nobody else was there and then left.

This all took place in Australia, and since Australia is basically just one huge breeding ground for terrifying monsters, it’s surprising this sort of thing doesn’t happen more often. It’s easy to make fun of the guy for screaming like a girl, but you know what? Spiders are the worst. This is totally normal behavior. The people who aren’t scared of giant spiders are the weirdos.



Cops Try To Save Screaming Woman In Domestic Dispute, Turns Out To Be A Dude Trying To Kill A Spider

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