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Divorcees Share The Amusing Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Fucked

Divorcees Share The Amusing Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Fucked

Even if a divorce is slow, painful, and drawn out—it seems like most divorcees can pinpoint the exact moment they knew it wouldn’t last “till death do us part.” That’s definitely true for the following people bold enough to share on the internet.

Luckily for everyone, hindsight softens the most excruciating moments. It’s been a long time, and everyone is happily divorced now.

1. It took Pcade11 40 hours to kill his marriage.

I used to love to do chores for her because she loved being taken care of. When she stopped noticing, it started hurting. Then one day I made a bench for our entryway out of barnwood. Took about 40 hours of work. She walked in the house after work that day and sat her purse on it and proceeded to start the fight where she told me that she was mad she got married to me. She stormed out of the house grabbing her purse. Never noticed the bench was there. I knew then but I think she already knew.

2. CarterLawler‘s wife has some really impressive logic.

When she said, “You didn’t pray hard enough and that’s why our son has cancer. That’s why I’m sleeping with my prayer partner.”

3. Outlaw0311 knew the marriage was toast. Sorry.

I left for work at 6am and forgot to unplug the toaster. When I arrived home at 6pm, I was given the “everything you’ve ever done to piss me off speech” just for leaving the toaster plugged in. I asked her what she did all day that prevented her from unplugging it herself. Another “I’m an asshole” speech. I said something to the effect of quit acting like your fucking mother. She threw the cat at me. A cat. She threw a fucking cat at me.

4. A reader wrote us this lovely story.

After three and a half years of trying to have a baby I was finally pregnant. After doing the test I was so excited I called my husband to tell him the good news. When I told him ” I’m pregnant! ” he came back with ” good luck with that ” apparently he didnt know what to say and that was the best he could come up with. Four years later we divorced lol.

5. Have a very depressing Christmas, from Mwr885.

I was on deployment and she yelled at me for interrupting her family’s celebration when I called on Christmas.

6. Hopefully Wiskrbiskt‘s wife got some rest.

When we went on a family vacation and I hoped she’d sleep the entire time so I could have fun with our son.

7. ShambValhalla thanks Oprah for all her hard work.

she made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. Is Your Marriage Okay or not type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn’t see any. We had already been to counseling.

8. The end is as satisfying as the beer, Synchronicityii.

We met and spent the first seven years of our married life on the West Coast, then moved East. Five years later, I took a job back on the West Coast, but it was the middle of the school year, so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me.

Things hadn’t been very good between us for a while, but I hadn’t articulated it to her—or even myself—beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction.

One weekend, out there on my own, I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns, a town in which I had lived long before I knew her, a town we had visited often while married. It was late afternoon was about to head back to my hotel when I realized that I could visit a particular beach that had special meaning to me from my earlier life there.

I stopped at a convenience store, grabbed a Grolsch like I used to drink on that beach, and drove out there. Hiked out to a specific spot I remembered, sat down, popped the beer, and looked out over the ocean. And it hit me that I hadn’t done that in over 20 years. Whenever we’d visit the area, I’d suggest stopping at the beach, but she wasn’t interested and would always veto the idea.

I’m sure reading this it seems like the tiniest thing, but it was the catalyst for me realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship. I think from the time I sat down, I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes. Just sitting there, sipping my beer, looking at the ocean.

9. Warning: StupidlyUgly‘s story is stupid sad.

We were already not speaking.

It was Thanksgiving. I knew she wasn’t going to bother, but I made a turkey and whatever goes with turkey for my then eight year old daughter.

I had the turkey out on the counter to rest after roasting.

My beloved bride walked in, calmly threw the turkey in the kitchen trash can, and walked out.

I had to take my kid to fucking golden corral for Thanksgiving.

That was it. I was done.

10. And DevlinInMrs.Jonez lost his wife and best friend.

When she decided our dog was annoying her and sold him on Craigslist (which she then used the money to buy herself a non refundable purse) instead of making any mention of her feelings so we could come up with a solution.

11. A play in three lines, by Lucideus.

In marriage counseling:

Me: I love you.

Ex: I settled on you.


Yeah, it’s an option.



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