Docs Say It’s Good To Masturbate At Work And PULL YOUR PANTS UP AND READ IT FIRST

How do you calm down at work? Longer coffee breaks? Occasional Candy Crush games when no one is paying attention? Glory holes in the men’s room?

Alright, that’s pushing it, but getting off at work isn’t the worst idea, according to people smarter than us.

Mark Sergeant, a psychology lecturer at Nottingham Trent University, told Metro in the UK that a “masturbation break would be very effective at work” and a perfectly natural way to relieve tension and stress. Mark Sergeant is a god damn hero.

Mark Sergeant is a god damn hero.

Psychologist and life coach Dr. Cliff Arnall backed up Sergeant’s claim, stating:

“Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus. A masturbation policy might result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity and more smiling.”

Arnall is also a hero. Both need statues dedicated to their mere existence.

My only concern is that too many guys walking around the office smiling and management is going to know what’s up.

Here’s what will happen if women tried it.

But while masturbating on the job does seem like a good stress-reliever, it’s important to remember that it’s probably good to consider your line of work and just HOW relaxed you want to get for the remainder of the day. We don’t need teachers or race car drivers jacking off in their cars.



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