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Dragon Sex Calendar Now Available For All Your Gift Giving Needs

Want to get a jump on your holiday shopping this year? Looking to lock down a 2017 calendar before the rush? Or maybe you’re just curious as to what dragons look like when they’re making babies? Then you’re in luck, for the 2017 Dragon Sex CalendarTM is here for all of your scaly, sensual needs.

Compiled by one mysterious man who, while unnamed, refers to himself in the first person on the calendar’s official website, the 2017 wall calendar shows twelve sci-fi and fantasy artists’ creative renderings of dragons engaged in various intimate acts, from foreplay to coitus. It’s hard to tell which dragons are males, which are females, and which are some mythical sex only inhabited by dragons, but at least one of the pairings seems totally gay. They all look like they’re having a good time, which is a relief, because it seems like there’s a lot that could go wrong when dragons fuck.

Despite being just a single product, Dragon Sex Calendar 2017 has a robust presence on social media, like a Facebook page that promises it will appeal to:

• Dragon masters who like to carefully plan their weeks
• People who like dragons. (Like a lot)
• Grandmothers with a shady past
• Gay uncles
• Straight aunts
• Your boss
• People who watch Game of Thrones for the sex.
• People who watch Game of Thrones for the dragons.
• Sex Therapists
• D&D Nerds
•Former Miss Hawaiian Tropics

And an Instagram feed that boasts, “Each day of 2017 will be an opportunity to gaze into the fiery cauldron of untamed passion that could only come from two dragons doing it.”

The preview photos that have been released thus far include “doggie style in a magical clearing” “female(?) on top while jack-o-lanterns watch” and “Dragoneezer Scrooge getting a beej from a ghost like he’s Vincent Gallo in ‘Brown Bunny.’”

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Someone clearly worked very hard on this.

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