This Dude Wants Kids To Have The Worst Halloween Ever

This Dude Wants Kids To Have The Worst Halloween Ever

If you’re the type of person who enjoys giving out apples, pennies or floss for Halloween, you should be locked up. But hey, at least you’re not the dude who instead of handing out candy on Halloween wants to remind kids they are going straight to hell.

Creationist Ken Ham currently runs a Noah’s Ark attraction in Kentucky, and he recently wrote a blog post in which he states that Halloween is “a fantastic opportunity to share the saving gospel with your friends and neighbors.” That’s right, kids. Instead of mini-Snickers bars, Ham wants to give you a “Halloween Learn & Share Kits,” that include religious pamphlets as well as fake money with Bible messages. Oh boy!

It gets better! The fake money in the kit are fake million-dollar bills that come with a picture of Noah’s Ark or a dinosaur on it. Oh, and on the back it has this message:

“Have you ever lied, stolen or used God’s name in vain? If so, you’ve broken God’s law. The penalty for your crimes against God is death and eternal hell.

Holy hell, dude, lighten up, man. But if kids find out you’re being an awful person and not handing out candy, but instead are just telling them they are going to spend an enternity with the devil, Ham has another idea:

“Try ‘reverse-trick-or-treating’ when you bring a basket of goodies to bless your neighbors. Include a gospel booklet with your home-baked or store-bought treats. This is a great way to encourage your kids to give and bless others as well as share the gospel as a family.”

Look, I’m all for reminding kids to be good and treat people well, but if anyone messed with my candy intake on Halloween when I was a kid they would get rolls upon rolls of toilet paper thrown at their house. OK, so I didn’t do that, but still, this dude is bonkers. Just give me my handful of Starburst and call it a day.



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