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“I came down with a really bad cold.”

I took too many tequila shots last night and I literally cannot deal with life right now.

“I’m having a personal emergency.”

I missed last nights episode of Game of Thrones and I have to watch it like now.

“I’m having women’s issues.”

I might actually be dying. Trust me, you don’t want me to come in today.

“My apartment flooded.”

I’m having a pool party and you can’t stop me.

“I’m stuck in traffic.”

I hit snooze six times and I’m not ashamed.

“It’s a religious holiday.”

I’m choosing to embrace my family’s religious views today for the sole purpose of not working.

“I’m having an allergic reaction.”

I have a zit the size of a crater on my face and I can’t be seen in public.

“It’s my grandmother’s 87th birthday.”

I’m going on a last minute trip to Vegas and my plane leaves in an hour.

“I have to leave early for a doctor’s appointment.”

I’m literally so bored.

“I have jury duty.”

I got arrested last night.

“I’m taking a mental health day.”

I’m still drunk.

Excuses You Give Your Boss Vs. What They Actually Mean – Because It’s Monday

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