A Florida woman has been arrested for babysitting under the influence.

According to NWF Daily News, Whitney Kilcrease was tasked with caring for a young child while her father went out to run some errands. This seemed like as good a time as any to get together with the Captain and make it happen, so the 24-year-old proceeded to get fucking obliterated off of Captain Morgan rum.


Kilcrease’s father returned home two hours later to find her “lying unconscious on the floor with the child playing nearby.” For reasons that may or may not have had anything to do with flakka, she was also naked.

When her dad made the mistake of waking her up, things went from bad to worse. Via NWF:

When she awoke, she became violent and started using profanity, the father said. She went next door to her uncle’s house and locked the door.

Concerned about the child’s safety, the father was able to get the child away from Kilcrease, who was throwing items inside the house.

A police deputy arrived to find Kilcrease was (spoiler alert) severely intoxicated:

“When I tried to talk to Whitney, her speech was slurred and unintelligible as well as unable to stand,” the deputy wrote.

“But officer! I was just playing a common babysitter game called ‘take off your clothes and throw shit!’”


Family? It’s unclear if the child was related to her. Kilcrease strikes similar poses to the one in her mugshot above, in photos posted to her Facebook.

Because Kilcrease was a cute white girl, the cops neither shot her nor choked her, but took her to North Okaloosa Medical Center, where she was found to have a blood alcohol level of .305. (This might help explain why she doesn’t remember any of it.) She’s being charged with child endangerment; her court date has been set for February 16.

Judging from the K-Stew-esque smirk in her mug shot, she’s got family connections who can get her out of this. That, or she’s simply confident her actions will barely rate in the grand scheme of Florida crazy her judge has been subjected to.



Florida Woman Arrested For Babysitting While Drunk (And Naked And Unconscious)

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